


Complicated Heart (I'll Be Waiting On The Other Side)

by sperrywink



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Prostitution, Blaine Big Bang, M/M, Prostitution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-25
Updated: 2012-09-25
Packaged: 2017-11-15 01:24:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 41,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/521608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sperrywink/pseuds/sperrywink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaine ran away to New York City when he was 14 where his life didn't turn out like he had hoped it would. After working the streets for the last 3-4 years, Blaine is at the end of his rope and wondering how much more he can take. </p><p>Enter Kurt who ends up being Blaine's knight in shining armor, but even once on the path to redemption, Blaine must face his past and overcome his demons. He must also deal with other people's perceptions of him. </p><p>Can he get his life straightened out, and if he does, how will Kurt fit into it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Complicated Heart (I'll Be Waiting On The Other Side)

**Author's Note:**

> **Beta:** aworldoflis did the most amazing beta for me. I was seriously stunned and happy at what she accomplished. Unfortunately I have been emotionally drained and unfocused, so I couldn't give it the attention it deserved nor incorporate all of the improvements she recommended. All errors and problems remain mine.
> 
>  **Artist:** The lovely loverstar did some beautiful artwork, which [can be found here](http://lokicorey.tumblr.com/post/32360612583/title-complicated-heart-ill-be-waiting-on-the)!!

Blaine was cold as hell. Business was slow because of the snow and he wondered if it was even worth trying tonight. He would give up but it wasn't like he had money for food, or a warmer place to be. His backpack was safe with Wes and David, who were performing for Wes’s regular Wednesday night client, so it was just a matter of getting through the night without his balls freezing off.

As a slender, huddled figure turned the corner and approached him, he was optimistic that it might be a john, but then he recognized the face as one of the tenants nearby. The guy always walked by with his book bag held close and his fancy coats buttoned to the top; Blaine suspected he was a student at nearby New York University. He had that rich kid vibe as well as that new-to-New-York vibe.

As he came abreast of Blaine, the guy flicked a brief glance at him before lowering his gaze demurely. Blaine would forever be grateful to that second of acknowledgement since it prompted his next actions. He stepped into the guy’s path, making him stumble to a stop. The guy looked scared, which was insane. Like Blaine was dangerous. He just protected himself; he didn’t attack people. Blaine gave him a welcoming and reassuring smile. The guy bit his lip but raised his chin. The light from the storefront masked his coloring, but Blaine suspected he was blushing. He said, "Hey, hey. You look cold. Maybe I could warm you up."

It was cheesy, but Blaine didn't get paid for witty bon mots. He knew getting a dime out of this guy was a long shot, but there was no other action tonight, so what the hell. Although the guy was good-looking, Blaine had never gotten asshole vibes from him as he did a lot of the younger guys who bought his time and acted like they owned him. It seemed like a longshot, but one that could pay off nicely if it worked.

Peering at Blaine through his eyelashes, the guy was definitely blushing now. He stuttered for a second, before finding his voice. "T-that's all right. I'm okay, I mean."

"Well, I'm cold,” Blaine said with his best smile, “so maybe you could warm me up then. I can make it worth your while." Blaine took a step closer and looked up through his own eyelashes at the guy. He could be demure and coy too, particularly since the guy was a couple inches taller than him.

The guy swayed back, but didn't edge away, so Blaine considered it a win. The guy was carefully looking him over now, and Blaine could see him calculating the reality of Blaine out in the snow without a coat. Maybe this gamble wouldn't be fruitless after all. Before Blaine was forced to push his luck, the guy said, "I only have twenty dollars."

With hope rising that he could escape the cold for the night, Blaine responded, "Twenty is good enough."

Nervously shifting from foot to foot, the guy said, "What if I just want company? Is it still good enough?"

Thinking of the cold and slow night, Blaine nudged the guy and encouraged him forward. Maybe he could parlay this into a night's sleep on a real bed. Hell, even a couch would be nice. "Definitely. Don't you worry about a thing."

Blaine let the guy lead him to a building a couple blocks further down. They climbed to the third floor and the guy opened his door with a slight flourish as he encouraged Blaine inside. Blaine grinned at him and wandered in. It was small, as all affordable New York apartments were, but it was nicely decorated and felt homey. 

The minuscule kitchen area was to the left and the bathroom was to the right. Past those two rooms was the studio apartment with a twin bed pushed off to the right and a table and chairs to the left. Above the table and chairs were nine framed Vogue covers arranged in a square. It was so neat and clean, Blaine felt out of place in his dirty jeans and raggedy hoodie.

The guy hovered by the door, seeming to regret his actions now that Blaine was in his apartment. He slowly took off his coat and hung it on a wooden hanger that was on the hook by the bathroom door. He was wearing a fancy shirt and jacket underneath with a bow tie of all things. Trying to set him at ease, Blaine smiled and said, "Nice place. I like the Vogue covers on the wall."

"Thanks. Um, do you want something to drink? I have to make dinner, so that will be awhile."

Checking out the bathroom, Blaine saw the shower and yearned. The guy was still blushing slightly and only met Blaine's gaze sporadically, so Blaine felt in control and optimistic that this evening could go the way he wanted. He crowded him up against the wall and kissed his jawline. The guy startled and his eyes got wide. Blaine whispered, "How about we play it by ear," as he brushed his lips along the guy's cheek.

The guy arched away from Blaine's mouth and frantically said, "I don't mean to be rude, but please don't. I don't want my first real kiss to be because I paid for it."

Blaine stopped. Taking a good look at the guy’s perfect hair and even features, it seemed unbelievable that someone like this guy hadn’t even kissed anyone yet, but he could feel the guy’s jack-hammering heart and knew that couldn’t be faked.

Blaine tilted his head a little further so he could look into the guy's eyes, but he didn't pull back. The guy was panting as if he had run up the three flights of stairs. Curious Blaine asked, "You've been in New York for months. I've seen you walking by my spot since autumn. There are gay guys everywhere. Why haven't you kissed anyone yet?"

Blushing hard now, the guy shrugged. "I just haven't met anyone I wanted.”

Blaine skimmed a hand alone the guy's side, watching as the guy shuddered but didn't move away. "What's your name?"

"Kurt."

"Well, Kurt, I think you doth protest too much. I've seen the glances you've given me. But never let it be said I'm not a gentleman." Blaine stepped away from Kurt. "How about you make dinner while I take a shower?"

"Sure. I mean, go ahead." Kurt took a deep breath as if he was short of air. His face was still red, but his gaze was sweeping over Blaine and his ratty clothes now. "I'll get you some sweatpants and a t-shirt to wear. We can wash your clothes too. I partly picked this apartment because there was a washer and dryer in the kitchen. My clothes are important to me and you can't trust the delicate cycle in Laundromats. And now I'm babbling. Let me just get those clothes for you." Kurt hurried towards the dresser and Blaine watched as he opened drawers and sifted through clothes.

He came back with a pair of navy sweatpants and a plain, lighter blue, long-sleeved t-shirt. Blaine smiled his thanks and took the clothes into the bathroom, closing the door slowly. Kurt seemed relieved not to have Blaine scrutinizing him anymore; Blaine saw him take a shuddery breath and run a hand through his hair as the door finally closed, messing his hair up. Kurt definitely wasn’t unaffected by Blaine and although he didn't think Kurt was up to any shenanigans, he still locked the door.

The shower was glorious. Blaine stood under it for as long as he dared, washing his hair three times and just luxuriating under the spray. The shampoo was some fancy herbal thing and the scent filled the whole room. When the water turned lukewarm, Blaine got out and used the towel that was hanging on the back of the door. He considered using the robe and leaving the bathroom in just that, but he didn't want to unsettle Kurt any more. He had a good thing going for the night and he didn't want to be thrown out for crossing the boundaries that Kurt had set.

Still slightly damp, he dressed in the clothes Kurt had provided, Blaine smelled the t-shirt. It smelled like fabric softener, which wasn't a smell Blaine had thought he missed, but it made him misty-eyed now. Just to be clean and warm on a night like this with no obligations to suck some old guy's dick was such a luxury, and add in a free meal and a place to sleep and Blaine wanted to pinch himself to make sure it was real. With a satisfied grin, he picked up his clothes and left the bathroom in a waft of steam. 

The apartment smelled delicious, even better than the fabric softener. Blaine's stomach rumbled. There was soft music playing, which sounded like Lady GaGa, and Kurt was swaying to it as he stirred something in a pan on the stove. He had also changed into casual clothes, soft pants and a long sweater. Kurt turned around and started when he saw Blaine, but also smiled sweetly.

"Dinner is almost ready. Let me take those clothes so they can be washed. Also, I never got your name?"

“I’m Blaine.” He let Kurt take his bundle of clothes; it wasn't like he had anything of value. He was broke and he had left his knife in one of his shoes by the door. Kurt nodded, but didn't say anything else, just went to the far corner of the kitchen where the washer and dryer were stacked together. Blaine wandered over to the stove and looked into the pan. It was some rice dish, maybe risotto. There was another pot with steamed broccoli and Blaine could smell chicken.

Kurt rushed forward and said, "Have a seat and I'll get the plates." Blaine sat down at the small table and Kurt bustled around getting their dinners situated. He finally sat down across from Blaine when they each had a glass of water and a plate of food in front of them. Kurt nodded at Blaine. "I hope you like it. I wasn't expecting company so it's a little plain."

Already eating, Blaine swallowed and then said, "It's amazing." Plain or not, Blaine hadn’t had a home-cooked meal in a lot longer than he had been on the streets. His parents had given up meals long before Blaine left. The food tasted divine.

Kurt grinned and began toying with his own food, taking a bite every now and then. They ate silently for a while, until Blaine groaned and pushed his plate away. "If I eat another bite, I'm going to explode."

"I'm glad you liked it."

"It was great. Thanks for sharing with me."

"My pleasure." Kurt pushed more food around on his plate. He hadn't eaten much, but Blaine wasn't questioning it. He guessed it was odd having dinner with a rentboy who picked you up in the middle of a snowstorm. The music had stopped while they were eating and Blaine watched as Kurt fidgeted nervously until finally he jumped up and went to the iPod by the windowsill. "Any requests?"

Blaine said, "Got any Katy Perry?"

Kurt smiled at him and said, "Good choice. ”California Gurls" is a great song for a New York winter night." Music started up again and Kurt turned the volume up so that it was a little louder than before. It was still low enough that they didn't have to shout. Blaine recognized the song as being from her new album, but he had only heard it once on a record store’s free listening station before being escorted out of the store for, as the owner put it, “disrupting the real customers.”

Feeling flirty and replete, Blaine stood up and walked to Kurt. "Dance with me." Kurt had been a perfect gentleman so far and Blaine felt confident that Kurt was a pretty good guy for being so attractive. He wanted to give Kurt something memorable to remember the night fondly. Blaine would certainly treasure it.

Kurt demurred at first, but Blaine just put his arms around Kurt and began swaying. Kurt followed smoothly and Blaine was impressed. He didn't ask how Kurt had become so good at dancing. They were quiet as they moved around the small room, Kurt finally laughing when Blaine spun him around and then dipped him at the end of the song. Kurt was beautiful when he smiled so care-freely. Blaine pulled him back up, but didn't let him pull away. He said, "Seriously, it's ridiculous that you're still single."

Blushing, Kurt pulled away. "I seem to have high standards. Higher than most people like."

"Sounds like there's a story there."

"Nothing, really. Just a couple of dates that ended badly when I didn’t want to rush things. I stopped going to clubs after that and concentrated on my studies." Kurt looked embarrassed for a fleeting second. "Mind if I ask you a question?"

Blaine smiled wryly. It was always the same question. "Let me guess. How did I end up here?"

Kurt blushed again. "Sorry. I know it's rude."

Feeling like he was talking about someone else, someone he barely knew these days, Blaine said, "Same old story. My parents were violent drunks, taking out their shitty lives on me. Add in getting beat up at school for being gay, and it sucked. When I finally got tired of being a punching bag, I ran away, and I’ve been in New York ever since. There's not much a fourteen year old can do for money, as you can imagine, so here I am." He didn’t mention the unrealistic dreams that he had when he first ran away of what New York would have to offer him. He had thought he would be able to find a piano bar and would earn his keep by playing songs for tips and would eventually be discovered just like Billy Joel. Blaine didn’t like thinking about how naïve he had been.

"You're fourteen? Oh my god!" Kurt looked like he was going to hyperventilate.

Blaine laughed. "No, no. I'm eighteen now. Don't worry; you aren't corrupting a minor." He was really seventeen, but that was close enough to barely be a lie.

"That’s not what I was worried about.” Kurt looked thoughtful. “So you've been on the streets for four years? That's a long time."

Blaine shrugged. Some days it felt like forever while others it felt new and degrading all over again. He wasn't going to explain that to Kurt though. Only Wes and David got to hear his private thoughts. They could at least relate.

Kurt waited a beat, then said, “I get that you couldn’t do anything else when you were fourteen, but why don’t you get a regular job now?”

Feeling a flicker of anger, Blaine snuffed it out. Kurt’s curiosity was normal and Blaine’s life wasn’t his fault. There was no harm in explaining and considering the way Kurt had treated him like a decent human being so far, it seemed only fair. Besides, the calculating part of his brain said that the more Kurt felt sorry for him, the better chance he could stay the night. “There isn’t exactly much professional demand for teenagers who don’t even have a high school diploma.” Despite Blaine’s best effort there was a bit of bite to his voice.

Kurt grimaced. “Yeah, sorry. I didn’t think of that. I also didn’t mean to put you on the spot.” Kurt looked around the room, searchingly. He went to his iPod again and said, “How about some show tunes? I love Broadway. It’s partly why I’m here.”

He thought he recognized Les Miz once the music started up again. Blaine nodded and began clearing the dishes off the table and stacking them in the sink. There was no dishwasher, so he started the water and picked up the sponge. Kurt appeared next to him and tried to take the sponge out of his hand. Blaine played keep-away with it, laughing again. Kurt pouted. “You’re a guest!”

Joking, Blaine said, “That’s one word for it.”

Pushing Blaine’s shoulder, Kurt emphatically said, “That’s the only word.”

“Well, this guest likes to contribute.”

Backing down, if reluctantly, Kurt nodded. “I’ll just move your laundry to the dryer.”

Things were quietly domestic for a little while after that. While Blaine washed the dishes, Kurt cleaned the table and changed the sheets on the bed. When Blaine finally finished the dishes, he wiped his hands on the dishtowel and turned around. Kurt was leaning against the windowsill, looking out the window as he quietly sang along with the music. He had a nice, clear, high voice.

Blaine leaned against the sink and just watched for a moment. He liked how relaxed this evening felt and he knew it was all down to Kurt and how Kurt treated him that gave him this window of what normality felt like. Kurt acted as if Blaine was a new friend staying the night, not some waif off the streets who latched onto him.

Kurt turned slightly and caught sight of Blaine; he sang a couple lines to Blaine with a grin and then trailed off. “It’s getting really bad out there. I’m glad you’re here.”

Walking to stand next to Kurt and to peer out the window, Blaine checked for himself. He couldn’t even see the building across the street, just swirling eddies of white and gray. Deliberately not looking at Kurt, a little choked up, he leaned his shoulder against Kurt’s briefly. “I’m glad too. Thank you, again.”

“My pleasure,” Kurt said. “Do you want to play cards or something?”

Considering how he felt, Blaine shook his head no. “I’m feeling kind of tired. Can we just lie down and listen to music?”

Unsurprisingly Kurt blushed. Blaine wanted to kiss him, he was so endearingly predictable. Kurt was charming in his naiveté. Blaine would have thought he would find that annoying, but it was disarmingly attractive. Still, remembering Kurt’s admonishment from earlier and feeling a bit embarrassed about his thoughts, he didn’t make a move. When did he get so sentimental?

Kurt said, “Sure. Not a problem. I’ll take the floor.”

With steel in his voice, Blaine responded, “No one is sleeping on the floor. You’re safe from me, I promise.”

“That’s not what I meant.” 

Kurt looked upset, but Blaine talked right over him. He gripped Kurt’s hand and gave it a little squeeze. “Regardless.”

Looking down at their clasped hands, Kurt nodded.

Blaine followed Kurt towards the bed. With only a little reluctance, Kurt climbed into the bed and lay down, stiffly. Blaine wanted to laugh at him and make a joke about thinking of England, but he refrained. The music played softly in the distance and Blaine felt the tension leaving him. He asked, “Can we turn off the lights?”

Kurt reached up and flicked the lamp off, leaving them in mostly darkness, just the city lights reflecting off the snow shining in through the window. Blaine closed his eyes and sighed. He was clean and comfortable, lying with a cute boy, and he let himself dream for a second that this really was his life. Mentally shrugging, he reminded himself that it was his life for the night which would have to be good enough. To distract his thoughts, he asked Kurt about Broadway and the conversation was off and running.

Kurt had strong opinions about theater, all of which he was eager to share. Luckily Blaine found it amusing. He would often challenge Kurt just for the hell of it. Hearing the passion in Kurt’s voice was endearing to Blaine. He hadn’t met someone so enthused in a while. People tended to pretend to be blasé to the boys they paid to blow them. He was reminded again of the boy he used to be, but he squashed those thoughts. Kurt could afford to dream, Blaine couldn’t. Simple as that.

Finally as they both got tired, the conversation slowed down. It was quiet for a couple minutes and Blaine was on the brink of drifting off when Kurt asked, “Blaine?”

Humming inquisitively, Blaine blinked his eyes open so he could see Kurt looking at him in the weak light. “Yes?”

“Is it really horrible?”

Suddenly wide awake, Blaine pondered what to say. He didn’t want to talk about it, but he was feeling close to Kurt. He hadn’t had a window to a normal life in so long that Kurt’s homey apartment and easy student life was as enticing as his sympathy. Blaine knew Kurt wasn’t just being a busybody or gloating, or even being a holier-than-thou do-gooder. He suspected that Kurt didn’t make connections easily, so he seemed to value the companionship Blaine offered. Blaine chose honesty. “It sure as hell isn’t Pretty Woman. It’s some old guy from Queens who smells bad and who feels that since he’s paying you to suck his dick, he’s better than you are, so he treats you like shit.” 

Blaine felt a hand curl around his and squeeze. He squeezed back. Kurt asked, “Isn’t there anybody you could turn to?”

“Not anyone I know how to find.”

“That’s what the Internet is for. Who are you thinking of?”

“There’s my sister. I often wonder what happened to her. She’s four years older than I am and had moved in with her boyfriend right before I left. It was worse without her there. That’s kind of why I ran.” Blaine didn’t mention Cooper. There was no point. Cooper had run far and fast once he turned eighteen. Blaine only had sporadic memories of him.

“Well, if you ever want to borrow my computer, just let me know.”

“Thanks. I mean it, thanks.” Blaine was surprised by the offer, although after all that Kurt had offered already, maybe he shouldn’t be. Kurt had been unusually sincere and caring the whole night.

Kurt simply squeezed his hand again and Blaine felt him shift in the bed, getting more comfortable. Blaine did the same so they ended up curled on their sides with Blaine kind of as the little spoon and facing out into the room. Kurt wasn’t holding him, but Blaine could feel his warmth and the press of his forearms along his back. It was comforting.

Blaine slept dreamlessly, but shallowly, always aware of Kurt by his side.

* * *

The next morning was sort of crazy. Kurt was alarmed when he woke Blaine up because he was late, and Blaine had to hurry into his clothes, which were clean if wrinkled. Still, it didn’t get awkward until Kurt held out his twenty. A bit hurt, wondering if the connection they had made was all one-sided, Blaine said, “I don’t want your money.”

Looking adamant, Kurt replied, “I’m not buying you or anything; I’m worried about you. I’d feel better knowing you can get lunch or whatever. Please.”

Blaine wanted to shake Kurt and deny he needed the money, but he knew he would regret his pride once he hit the cold streets again. Slowly he reached out and took the cash from Kurt. Kurt’s shoulders slumped in relief and he gripped Blaine’s arm before he could pull it back. “Thank you. Seriously, thank you.”

“I should be thanking you.”

Kurt reached for his satchel and settled it over his shoulder thoughtfully. “Maybe we can skip any more thanks and just be friends.” He blushed and looked down as if he was embarrassed and was waiting for Blaine to shoot him down. Blaine wanted to laugh incredulously. As if he would turn down such unexpected friendship. “I’d like that.”

Smiling at him, Kurt led the way out of the apartment and building. They parted ways outside, Kurt giving him a little wave and then heading off in the direction of New York University, while Blaine headed in the opposite direction. They were lucky that the sidewalks had been cleared. Or at least Blaine was lucky; Kurt had nice snow boots on.

After stopping for a coffee to help warm him up, Blaine found Wes and David in their squat on Avenue C. It was a boarded-up shop front with apartments upstairs. The three of them usually holed up in the back bedroom on the second floor. The roof leaked, so they avoided the top floors and it was quieter in the back. He passed his coffee around and both Wes and David took sips indulgently and thanked him. Wes asked, “Where’d you end up last night? You look suspiciously clean.”

“I crashed with one of the NYU students that live near our corner. He washed my clothes and let me take a shower.”

David said, “Sweet. What did he want in return? College students can be the worst; always wanting to fuck you dry or something.”

“Nothing. He’s a virgin and saving himself for that someone special. He did give me twenty bucks; hence the coffee.” Blaine made hand-quotes around the words “someone special.” As the three of them knew, special someones were rare.

“Damn! Nice work if you can get it.” Wes grinned at Blaine and held up his fist for a fist-pump. Blaine obliged and they exploded their hands afterwards.

“Yeah, it was a nice night. I forgot what a home-cooked meal tasted like.”

David said, “He fed you too? You need to hold onto this one. Give him a blow job at the very least.”

They laughed lightly at that. Once they all calmed down, after exchanging looks with David, Wes said, “Speaking of holding onto something good; I have news.”

Blaine’s stomach fluttered. He could tell that David already knew Wes’s news and that they were nervous about his reaction. Cautiously he asked, “Yeah?”

“You know my regular Wednesday night?”

“Yeah. You and David performed for him last night. He kept you the whole night, didn’t he?”

“He did. He and his partner liked us so much that they offered us a place to live as their houseboys.”

Blaine’s fluttering butterflies turned to rocks. Still he coaxed a smile onto his face and said, “But that’s great news! You guys should be excited. We’ve always talked about finding a home.”

Wes crawled over to Blaine and hugged him. “I know, but we always talked about the three of us getting out. We tried to talk them into a place for you too, but they were adamant about it being just Wes and me. I’m so sorry.”

Hugging back, Blaine whispered, “Don’t be stupid. I’m happy for you. And something will happen for me soon. I promise.” It was an empty promise and they all knew it, but Wes and David let it slide. Blaine was glad. He felt all choked up and scared about being left behind, but still loved Wes and David enough to be glad for them. The mix of emotions made him feel vulnerable and as if he was being tossed by a violent sea.

Getting himself under control, Blaine asked questions about Wes’s benefactor. He already knew most of the answers; they all knew each other’s regulars inside and out, but he didn’t want to dampen Wes and David’s excitement. So he reheard all about the huge brownstone on the Upper West Side, the two toy poodles that they had, and how kind the guy was to them.

Finally, as the afternoon waned, it came time for Wes and David to head uptown. They each hugged Blaine tightly and promised to keep in touch. Blaine knew it was unlikely that their paths would cross again and he had to close his eyes tightly to keep his tears at bay. He truly was happy for Wes and David. He just hated being left behind.

The next week or so was rough. He had to find a more secure squat with a good hiding place for his backpack and without Wes and David to back him up; he had to keep fighting for his corner territory. Right now it was just a battle of words, but Blaine knew it would escalate to violence eventually. It was becoming apparent that he wouldn’t be able to stay there for much longer, and pretty soon he would have to cut his losses. He just hated giving up the prime spot and leaving his regulars behind. He couldn’t exactly leave a forwarding address.

The only bright spot was Kurt, who now stopped to chat daily when he walked by, and who even let Blaine stay the night again when it snowed towards the end of the week. It was a mixed blessing having gotten Kurt’s friendship just as he lost Wes and David’s. At least Wes and David had been there beside him in misery, while Blaine felt he had to hide how dire his current situation had become from Kurt. He knew Kurt couldn’t understand, not really.

A guy stopped next to him and lit a cigarette, trying to look nonchalant. Blaine wanted to roll his eyes, but that would just scare the john off. The guy nodded at Blaine and Blaine smiled back flirtatiously. The guy’s gaze flittered around before he took half a step closer and said, “How much for a bj?”

Blaine said, “Forty.”

“Oh come on. It’s just a bj. That’s not worth more than twenty.”

Keeping the smile on his face and licking his bottom lip in an obvious way, Blaine said, “Sure if you’re midtown, but now you’re here in SoHo. Everything costs more.”

The guy looked frustrated, but Blaine just shrugged and turned away. Guys like this were easy to play and Blaine was pretty confident his nonchalant act would work. The guy hovered, eyeing Blaine hungrily. Finally, he said, “Fine.”

Nonchalantly turning back, Blaine replied, “There’s an alley half a block away unless you have a car or something. Plus, we use a condom and payment comes first.”

Acting put out and huffing like a jerk, the guy said, “I said fine. And the alley is good enough.” The guy handed over the money and followed Blaine around the corner.

Leading the guy to a hidden spot, Blaine turned around and said, “How’s here?”

Impatiently undoing his pants, the guy didn’t answer, but Blaine guessed that was answer enough. Falling to his knees, he waited until the guy had taken out his cock before shuffling forward and rolling on the condom he had. With resignation, he took the cock into his mouth and relaxed his throat because guys like this always thrust hard from the get-go. True to form, the guy grabbed a fistful of Blaine’s hair and held Blaine’s head steady as his hips pumped frantically. Blaine swallowed through the sensation and let the guy go for it. The good thing about guys like this was that they always shot fast.

The guy moaned as Blaine swallowed around his cock and said, “Yeah, that’s it, you little bitch. Take it all in.” He began thrusting harder and Blaine mentally went through his list of favorite musicals and their songs in alphabetical order to be able to get through it. It was his standard distraction technique.

The guy finally came and really ground his hips into Blaine’s face. Blaine squeezed his eyes a little tighter to help him get through the pain and then it was over and he was swallowing and the guy was pushing Blaine’s face away from him impatiently. As he zipped up his pants, he said, “You did good, bitch.” Then he was striding out of the alley and out of Blaine’s life.

Standing up and stashing his cash more securely, Blaine walked back to his corner only to be confronted by two of the larger boys on the block. The tallest, named Caleb, said, “I don’t know what you’re thinking. As if we’d let you have the best corner solo.”

Blaine said, “Hey, man, we can share.”

Caleb said, “Oh, it’s too late for that now. We’ve got to make an example of you.” Before Blaine could protest or even get to his knife, the other boy rushed forward and grabbed his arms. Caleb backhanded him across the face, and as his head was whipped to the side, Blaine felt his lip split and saw blood splatter across the snow covering the sidewalk. He missed seeing the next punch since he was still hunched over and trying fruitlessly to get away. This one was to his stomach and he doubled over even more at the burst of pain.

The next couple of hits came rapid fire. When the boy holding him suddenly let go, Blaine crumpled to the ground in agony and rolled into a ball. The other boys continued kicking him, getting him in the back, on the leg, and in the head.

By the time they were through, Blaine felt like a mess of blood and bruises. They dragged him down a nearby side street and into an alleyway off of it. They left him crumpled by a dumpster like so much trash. With one last kick, Caleb said, “It’s our corner now. You’d be smart to stay off it.”

Blaine wished he would lose consciousness, but luck obviously wasn’t with him tonight. He didn’t move for a long time. He just lay there breathing through the pain, knowing he was up shit’s creek now. Finally the cold began to get to him. He was lying in slush which soaked through his jeans and chilled him to the bone. He slowly bent his legs and rolled so that he was on hands and knees. His ribs ached like a motherfucker and it was hard to breathe, and a slight moan escaped him. Using the dumpster to steady himself, he slowly got to his feet.

He concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other and trusted autopilot to get him to his squat. At least there he would be out of the snow and wind and he could recuperate. Unfortunately he could barely see since one eye was swollen shut so it was with care that he made his way out of the alley and onto the side street. Once there, he went the opposite direction from where Caleb and the other boy had attacked him. It was the longer way to his squat, but at least he wouldn’t be set upon again. 

Once off the side street and on the avenue, he huddled as close to the buildings as he could. He felt like a stiff wind would easily blow him over. There weren’t many pedestrians but those that were out passed Blaine as hastily as possible and avoided looking at him. Trust a New Yorker to ignore someone bleeding in the street. Blaine had managed two agonizing blocks when one of the pedestrians broke pattern and rushed to his side, touching his arm lightly. The guy said, “Blaine, is that you? Oh my god, what happened to you?”

Looking blearily out of his one good eye, Blaine recognized Kurt’s concerned face. Concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other, Blaine just shrugged and resumed walking. Kurt paced him and continued talking. “Okay, you don’t have to tell me anything, but Blaine, you need to go to the hospital. Let me take you there.”

Stopping, Blaine laughed brokenly. “I can’t afford to go to the hospital. Are you nuts?”

Kurt looked momentarily frustrated, but then his face hardened. “I can’t let you wander the streets like this. Please let me take you to the hospital.”

Blaine was already shaking his head. “Look if you want to help, just shut up and help me get home.”

“You don’t have a home, you’ve told me that! And what if you pass out and die? I can’t let that be on my conscious. You’re going to the hospital; that isn’t up for discussion.”

Searching Kurt’s face, Blaine saw only determination and naked concern. Finally, he nodded wearily. He didn’t have the energy to fight Kurt over this. Even arguing with Kurt was draining him and making it unlikely that he could reach his squat without help anyway. He said, “There’s a clinic a couple blocks over. It’ll be cheaper to go there. They do sliding scale.”

Blaine could hear the relief in Kurt’s voice as he said, “Okay, okay. Let me just slide one arm around you and we are on our way.” Suiting actions to words, Kurt came closer and slowly wrapped an arm around Blaine. It made his ribs ache more, but Blaine was relieved to have someone to lean on.

Even with Kurt’s help, it was slow going, so it took them fifteen minutes to get to the clinic. The bell over the door jingled and warm air bathed them as they stepped inside. Blaine could hear the relief in Kurt’s voice when he called for help. Suddenly there were multiple hands guiding him into a room and onto an examining table, and Kurt was nowhere to be found. Blaine tried looking around for him, but the doctor was shooting rapid fire questions at him, and it took all his concentration to answer coherently. He did manage to provide his fake ID that said he was 20, and claim he didn’t know who his attackers were. 

Blaine must have passed out at some point, because the next thing he knew he was blinking his eyes open and looking at Kurt sitting beside his bed. Kurt startled and reached a hand out to rest on his arm. “You’re awake! Let me get the doctor.” Blaine looked down and he was wearing scrubs. He couldn’t tell if anything was broken and didn’t know where his real clothes were.

Before Blaine could ask, Kurt was rushing off. He came back with the same doctor from before who shone his penlight into Blaine’s eyes and began talking. “You are very lucky, Blaine. You don’t have a concussion and your ribs are only cracked. Unfortunately you will have spectacular bruising for a couple of weeks and will be pissing blood for a couple days as your bruised kidneys heal. 

“I’ve prescribed something for the pain and some antibiotics so your cuts don’t get infected.

“Now the police are here to talk to you. Whatever you can remember about the attack will help them find the perpetrators so try and be as honest as possible.”

At a nod from the doctor a droll patrolman entered and the doctor led Kurt out of the room. Blaine didn’t know whether the patrolman or he was more bored by the interview. It was obvious that the cop knew the score just as well as Blaine did, so he just asked some perfunctory questions, mentioned that he had confiscated Blaine’s knife, and left five minutes later. Blaine mourned the loss of his knife, but figured it was the least of his troubles right now.

Kurt came back in afterwards and resumed his seat by Blaine’s bedside. “The doctor is writing up some care instructions and then we can go, if you’re feeling up to it. They wrapped your ribs so walking should be easier.”

“How much is this going to cost me?” Blaine asked He was afraid of the answer. He only had the forty the last john had given him.

“I took care of it. Don’t worry about that.”

Trying to sit up to protest, Blaine fell back with a groan. Kurt scowled at him, but Blaine knew it was for hurting himself, not about the money. Blaine said, “I’ll pay you back.” He didn’t know how, but he knew he would try his damnedest. He didn’t want to lose Kurt’s friendship over it.

“We’ll talk about that later.” Blaine got the feeling that Kurt would argue with him about it, but he couldn’t worry about that now.

The doctor came back in and gave his instructions. Blaine didn’t really listen to them, but Kurt nodded along seriously. He asked about his clothes and Kurt held up a plastic bag. After putting on his shoes and hoodie over the scrubs, they could finally leave, and Kurt helped Blaine get off the bed. Since he had pain medications running through his system, it didn’t hurt much, but he still shuffled like an old man.

They left the clinic, but as Kurt pulled his arm to go west, Blaine halted. “I can manage from here.”

Kurt put his hands on his hips. “Oh, hell no. I am not letting you out of my sight until you look like a normal person and not just one big bruise.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“I won’t have your death on my conscious!”

“I’m not going to die, there’s nothing to worry about.”

“Nothing--! Blaine, you look like a car crash victim. There is a lot to worry about. Now, please let me help you.”

Blaine’s energy was draining out of him at an alarming rate, and the idea of staying warm and secure at Kurt’s place was worming into his brain. Giving in, feeling like it was inevitable, Blaine said, “Then I at least need to pick up my stuff.”

“Where is it?”

“Just across the avenue a bit, but east.”

“Can’t you just tell me where it is and I’ll go get it once you’re settled?”

“It’s hidden.” Before Kurt could protest again, Blaine started walking eastward. He could hear Kurt huffing out an exasperated breath behind him, but he luckily didn’t fight Blaine about it again. Even with the pain medications, Blaine only had so much energy.

When they reached the squat and Kurt followed Blaine in climbing through the broken door in the back, Kurt apparently couldn’t keep silent any more. With shock in his voice, he asked, “You live here?”

Blaine shrugged but didn’t answer right away as he looked for a suitable answer. Finally he just said, “It’s a roof and four walls.”

“But it’s an abandoned building and it’s ten degrees out. How do you stay warm?”

The obvious answer was that Blaine didn’t. But an abandoned building with protection from the wind was better than some doorway somewhere. He shrugged again and simply headed towards the stairs. There were some junkies in the front room by the stairs and Kurt skittered away from them and hastily followed Blaine up the stairs when he noticed them. Blaine smiled grimly. He suspected he was giving Kurt a tour of the underbelly of New York that he had never seen before.

Heading towards the back bathroom, Blaine dug his backpack out of the hole behind the vanity. He did a quick inspection and was relieved to see that everything seemed to still be there and to be fine. Relieved, he went to put on the backpack, but Kurt took it from him. “I can carry that for you.” Blaine simply nodded. That wasn’t something worth arguing about.

The walk back to Kurt’s apartment seemed to take forever and Blaine was cold, exhausted, and achy by the time the door closed behind them. Kurt led Blaine directly to the bed as he said, “Lie down and I’ll get your meds in order.”

Blaine kicked off his shoes and crawled into the bed with a sigh. He heard Kurt bustling about, but couldn’t be bothered to open his eyes. He knew again that he shouldn’t trust Kurt so easily, but it was too hard to fight that now. He just didn’t care if anything more happened to him tonight. He couldn’t work up the energy. Before Kurt came back with the meds, he was out like a light.

* * *

When Blaine came to full wakefulness, he had vague memories of Kurt feeding him pills in the middle of the night, but the memories felt like dreams. He was still lying on the bed, now on his side facing the wall. He could feel Kurt sleeping behind him. He was glad Kurt hadn't slept on the floor, but he suspected Kurt's actions had more to do with keeping an eye on him than knowing Blaine would welcome his warmth.

Blaine shifted experimentally to see how stiff he felt. It wasn't good. His ribs still ached and his back was killing him again. Add this to his swollen-feeling face and he knew he was a mess. His movement must have woken Kurt because he felt Kurt's hand move to his shoulder and his sleepy voice broke the quiet. "Are you okay?"

"I have to pee."

"Of course. I'll also get your meds." Kurt's warmth disappeared from behind him so Blaine rolled away from the wall and sat up with a groan. Pills sounded like a great idea. Kurt hovered for a second; Blaine thought he was about to help Blaine to the bathroom, so he glared at him. Kurt sighed but left Blaine alone and went to the kitchen and poured a glass of water. Blaine slowly and painfully stood and made his way across the room.

Kurt watched from the kitchen looking ready to jump in with a helping hand at any second. Luckily, despite his unsteady legs, Blaine made it there fine and closed the door. It was weird having Kurt shadow his every movement.

After peeing, Blaine washed his hands and looked at his face in the oval mirror above the sink. He almost didn't recognize himself with the swollen eyes, discolored cheeks, and bloody mouth. Cursing his luck, Blaine knew there was no way he would be able to work for a couple weeks; not looking like this. The only johns who would want him like this were the johns he didn’t want. Despair filled him again, like it had his first night without Wes and David. He just didn't know if he could survive much more of this.

Kurt knocked on the door. "Everything all right in there?"

"Yeah. I'll be out in a second." Splashing some water on his face, Blaine then dried off by patting his hands and face with the towel. Exiting the bathroom, he almost ran into Kurt who was hovering by the door. Raising an eyebrow, or trying to at least, Blaine waited until Kurt stepped aside before heading towards one of the chairs at the table. There was a glass of water and two pills waiting for him there. He downed the pills as Kurt sat down on the other chair. Chugging the rest of the water, Blaine tried not to squirm under Kurt's scrutiny.

Kurt asked, "Would you like to take a shower?" The clothes you borrowed are clean again. You'll probably feel better once you’re clean too."

Blaine was stunned for a second and then nodded hesitantly. He had been expecting another interrogation about who beat him up and why, so he was glad for the reprieve. Kurt stood up and gently squeezed Blaine's shoulder on his way to the dresser. He pulled out the sweats and blue shirt Blaine had worn last time. It was nice feeling like he had 'his clothes' at Kurt's and Kurt viewed them that way too.

Draining the rest of the water, Blaine stood and took the clothes from Kurt. "Thanks. For everything."

Kurt nodded jerkily. "Anyone would have done the same."

Snorting, Blaine said, "And we both know that isn't true, which is why you're so special."

Wrapping his arms around his torso, Kurt nodded again, blushing lightly. Blaine went into the bathroom before he could embarrass either of them any further.

Luckily Blaine was able to unwrap his ribs himself, but he'd probably need Kurt to help him put the bandage back on. Blaine adjusted the shower spray to the lightest setting so it wouldn't hurt his bruises. The shower ended up feeling glorious again. It was a little disconcerting at first watching all the blood and dirt flow down the drain, but when the water flowed clear Blaine just closed his eyes and enjoyed getting clean.

Finally as the water turned lukewarm, he washed his hair; raising his arms carefully to avoid straining his ribs. Leaving the shower, he used a fresh towel from next to the sink to dry off, and then pulled on the sweatpants. Picking up the shirt and the ace bandage, he exited the bathroom with a cloud of steam.

Kurt was back at the table and music was playing softly; some girl's voice lilting in a song Blaine had never heard before. Kurt’s eyes flickered to his chest, but it wasn’t a lustful look, rather it was clinical. Kurt smiled at Blaine. "Feeling better?"

"Yeah. The shower felt great and I think the meds are kicking in. Thanks."

Pointing at the ace bandage in Blaine's hand, Kurt said, "I can re-wrap that for you."

"Thanks. That would be great." Blaine handed over the bandage and stood with his arms out. Kurt carefully held one end of the ace bandage and then wrapped the remainder around Blaine's torso, finally securing it with the clips when he was done. Breathing became easier and Blaine was glad for the tight pressure. Cold now, he pulled on the shirt and settled back down at the table.

Blaine asked, "Do you have class today?"

Giving Blaine a strange look, Kurt replied, "It's Saturday."

Blushing, Blaine nodded. "So do you have other plans for the day? I don't want to hold you up. I can be gone in a moment's notice." He almost hated bringing it up, but he didn’t want Kurt to feel obligated. He was already so indebted to Kurt, it was uncomfortable for him. He didn’t know how he could ever earn enough money to pay Kurt back, and that wasn’t even including the safe place to sleep or the shower. The least he could do would be to not impose any more than he already had.

Kurt glared at Blaine. "I thought I explained that you're staying here until you're better."

"You don't have to do that. You've already done more than enough. I'll pay you back too." Blaine knew it was most likely an empty promise, but he would try everything in his power to make it not be so.

"I'm not taking no for an answer. You're staying here if I have to tie you to that chair."

In an automatic and flirtatious voice, Blaine quipped, "Kinky."

Now it was Kurt's turn to blush, but before he could say anything, Blaine held up his hands. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that."

"It's all right. I walked right into that one. But seriously, I don't want to have to worry about you."

Blaine was both warmed by Kurt’s concern and taken aback by it. Still, all he said was, “I can take care of myself.”

“I hate to mention it again, but your face looks like someone took a frying pan to it. Obviously your idea of taking care of yourself leaves a lot to be desired.”

Now it was Blaine’s turn to glare, but he had no rebuttal. He had done the best he could, but he knew normal people wouldn’t consider it good enough. Maybe it wasn’t good enough for someone like Kurt, but Blaine would like to see Kurt do better than him given the same circumstances. He felt exposed and angry, but remained silent. He didn’t know what to say for himself and about the realities of living on the streets.

Kurt rolled his eyes to the ceiling and sighed heavily. “Look, I’m trying not to be an asshole. I really just want what is best for you and to help you get that. Try and work with me, okay?”

Blaine scrutinized Kurt for the hundredth time. And wondered why he was going so out of his way to help Blaine. It just didn’t make sense, but Blaine could see the sincerity in Kurt’s face. Plus, while other men would be making noises about how Blaine owed them for the medical bills and how he could pay them back with his ass or mouth, that didn’t seem to have even occurred to Kurt. He really did seem to be trying to do the decent thing and perform a good deed.

Given how tired Blaine was of everything, it was so enticing to let Kurt take care of him. At least for a little while. He gave a small nod and was rewarded with a brilliant smile. Kurt said, “So let’s just relax today. Your body needs time to heal.”

Feeling drained by the argument and the shower, Blaine rested his head on his arm on the table. Trying to get them back on an even footing, Blaine said, “Fine by me. What’s our music selection today?”

The tension left Kurt’s shoulders and he walked to his iPod. “What are you in the mood for? Pop, musicals, ballads?”

“How about some ballads? That would be relaxing.”

Kurt made a selection on his iPod and put it in its docking station. Celine Dion’s voice came out of the speakers. Kurt raised an eyebrow at Blaine and Blaine nodded that it was fine. Celine Dion wasn’t a favorite of his, but it was innocuous enough. As Blaine continued to rest at the table, Kurt puttered around the room putting things in order and changing the bed sheets, before picking up his messenger bag and his computer. Bringing them to the table, he asked, “Mind if I do some homework?”

“Of course not.”

Kurt set up his laptop and dug out a couple books from his messenger bag. He arranged everything on the table before powering up his computer. Soon settling into his work, Kurt seemed to forget about Blaine, which suited him fine. He could zone out and watch Kurt and marvel at where his life had ended up. 

After a while Blaine’s eyes began drooping and he asked, “Mind if I lay down for a bit?”

Jumping a little at the interruption, Kurt looked fully at Blaine for the first time in an hour or so. “Of course not. It’s time for more pills anyway.” 

Blaine followed Kurt into the kitchen where Kurt handed him pills and a glass of water. He downed the pills and drained the water with a nod of thanks. Lying down, he settled onto the fresh smelling sheets with a sigh and closed his eyes. He soon drifted off.

* * *

Blaine woke slowly; the sound of Kurt’s voice penetrating his consciousness. Once he was awake enough to realize Kurt was talking about him, he made sure to hold still and keep his eyes closed. 

Kurt was saying, “You would have done the same thing if you had seen him. You wouldn’t believe how badly he is hurt and how horrible he looks.”

Then there was silence before Kurt spoke again. “You’re wrong, Dad. He hasn’t tried to take advantage of me. I even had to threaten him to keep him here. It’s not how you’re imagining it.” 

This was about the time Blaine realized Kurt was on the phone and not talking to someone else in the apartment. Relieved that his refuge hadn’t been invaded, Blaine also felt bad for the position he had put Kurt in. The medical bills were a lot of money and then there was the care and concern. Blaine sort of agreed with Kurt’s Dad. Normal people wouldn’t have lifted a finger to help him and he knew how easy it would be for someone shifty to take advantage of Kurt’s generosity. Look at him; that first night he spent at Kurt’s place was evidence of that.

Kurt said, “He’s not on drugs. There’s no evidence of that, so stop worrying so much!” Blaine wanted to grimace but held still. Yeah, the drug-addicted prostitutes would be all over Kurt; stealing his laptop and iPod to sell for drugs. Someone really should be teaching Kurt some reticence.

“I’ll pay you back over the summer. I’ll get a summer job or an internship or something.” After another beat of silence, Kurt snorted. “I’m not in any danger from him, Dad. Even a little old lady could take him in his current condition.”

Blaine mentally winced at that. He had never presented an imposing figure and actually his lack of height and boyish features helped him by making the johns think he was younger and defenseless, but to be so blatantly called harmless was a reality check. He wanted to protest, but with his ribs cracked, he didn’t even have his full range of movement. Kurt’s point was made.

Kurt said, “I promise it’ll be fine; stop worrying. I’ll call you tomorrow with an update. I love you too.”

Kurt finished and as the silence lengthened, Blaine drifted back to sleep. He was warm and comfortable and the pull of slumber was too strong. He awoke with a start and an ache in his ribs from moving suddenly. His hand was wrapped around Kurt’s wrist where Kurt had his hand on Blaine’s shoulder. Kurt was saying, “Sorry, sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you; it’s just past time for lunch and time for more pills.”

Still sleepy, Blaine said, “Okay.” 

Sitting up, Blaine let go of Kurt’s wrist and met Kurt’s concerned gaze before looking away. He was remembering Kurt’s conversation with his father and felt embarrassed about eavesdropping and also about Kurt’s defense of him. Blaine figured that Kurt didn’t realize how enticing Kurt’s apartment and kindness were to someone in Blaine’s situation, as evidenced by him conning his way in his first night here. People he knew would kill, let alone swindle, for it. He hated to think he was like them, but he’d learned long ago how to do anything to survive.

He followed Kurt to the table and chairs where sandwiches were laid out in addition to the pills left by Blaine’s plate. Blaine had to pause for a second because even though it was just sandwiches, Kurt had garnished the plates with twisted fruit rinds and some cut kiwis and used real cloth napkins. Sitting down, with a bit of awe he said, “Thanks.” 

Kurt gave him a closed mouth smile.

Not sure how to break the sudden tension between them, Blaine remained silent. He had a good appetite for the first half of the sandwich, which was turkey and avocado, not a combination he had ever had before or thought he would like as much as he did, but only picked at the second half. Kurt daintily ate his sandwich and even the kiwi slice. After finishing and folding his napkin over and over again, Kurt broke the silence. “So it’s obvious you don’t want to talk about what happened, but I don’t know how I can help you if we don’t.”

Uncomfortable, the food now sitting in his stomach like lumps, Blaine said, “There’s not much to tell.”

Folding his arms defensively, but also challengingly, Kurt replied, “Why don’t you start at the beginning and I’ll decide if there isn’t much to tell?”

Blaine looked towards the window where he could just make out the corner of a brick wall and a sliver of blue sky between the curtains. He guessed Kurt didn’t have much of a view. He knew he couldn’t avoid thinking about everything that had gone down, but he sorely wished he could. “Remember that night I spent here?”

“Of course.”

“The next day I met up with my friends Wes and David. As it turned out they had scored a deal off the streets, but it was only for the two of them. I tried to hold our corner by myself, but, well, you see the result of that.’

“They beat you up over a street corner?” Kurt sounded incredulous. 

With a shrug and an acknowledgement of his life and its realities, Blaine responded, “It’s prime real estate.”

Kurt waved one hand and shook his head. “Okay, ignoring how that’s insane for right now, let’s focus on Wes and David. You couldn’t go with them?”

“They got hooked up as houseboys with a john of Wes’. He could only afford the two of them.”

Leaning on his hand, Kurt scrutinized Blaine. It was hard to remain still under his gaze, but Blaine held fast. Kurt finally looked away and sighed. “That doesn’t sound like a way out, really. I mean it’s better than sleeping in an abandoned building, don’t get me wrong, but I want better for you.”

Blaine was tempted to say he wasn’t worth better, but knew enough that Kurt would argue with him. He didn’t want to trash all of Kurt’s illusions about who he was and what he had done. Kurt obviously knew he was a hooker, but he didn’t seem to realize that Blaine had done it all. Besides doing every degrading thing imaginable for money, he had stolen food, and fought the other rentboys for every inch of territory. Whatever had been needed to survive, he had done it. 

Kurt said, “When you were here last time you mentioned a sister. What about finding her?”

Feeling like they were scraping the bottom of the barrel for ideas, Blaine admitted, “I have no way of finding her now. I actually tried her number a couple of months after I ran away but it was disconnected.” 

He didn’t mention how he had been starving or how downtrodden he had felt at that point when he couldn’t even reach his sister for help. He had felt truly abandoned by everyone and so alone. That had been his lowest point up until now, since it was before he had hooked up with Wes and David, who had made all the difference over the last two years.

“That’s what the internet is for, as I said.” Kurt stood up and got his computer from his dresser. Bringing it to the table, he said, “Facebook is the obvious place to start.”

“Do you really think it’ll be that easy?”

“Well, we won’t know until we try, but everyone is on Facebook these days, even my Dad. What’s your sister’s name?”

“Charity Anderson.”

“Well, luckily, Charity is an uncommon name.”

“She had a serious boyfriend. She might be married by now.”

“If you remember his last name, we can try that as a back-up if the first doesn’t work.” Kurt opened his laptop and powered it up as Blaine went and stood behind him. There was a picture of Lady GaGa as Kurt’s background and Blaine found himself smiling. Kurt was so predictable and endearing with his pop diva love.

Finally, Kurt opened his web browser and used his bookmarks to open Facebook. He typed in Charity’s name and up popped two profiles: one in Erie, Pennsylvania and another in Lima, Ohio.

They both had pictures attached and there was Blaine’s sister smiling at him. With a jumping heart, he pointed excitedly to the second picture and said, “That’s Charity! That’s my sister.”

Kurt did a double take. “You’re from Lima?”

“Westerville, actually. She must have moved for some reason.”

“But, still, I’m from Lima!”

Now it was Blaine’s time to double-take. “You’re from Ohio?”

“Yeah. I can’t believe you are too. How on earth did you get to New York City from Ohio at fifteen? My Dad drove me out here for school; it’s a long drive.”

“Hitchhiking with truckers mostly.” Blaine didn’t go into the details about how those were his first experiences with trading sex for services or money. He didn’t think Kurt wanted to hear that.

Kurt seemed to realize there was more to the story since he gave Blaine a penetrating look, but he let it drop. Instead he said, “Let’s craft a message for your sister.”

Suddenly nervous about what this could mean and about his sister knowing what he had become, Blaine hesitated. “She moved. She might not want to hear from me.”

“She’s your sister. I bet she’s been waiting to hear from you.”

“Still. I’m not sure about this.”

Kurt twisted away from the table so he could face Blaine directly. “I don’t really get what you’re going through, but I do know you will regret not contacting your sister. Family is important and you’ll always wonder if you don’t.”

Feeling like he had swallowed a bunch of moldy rocks, his stomach queasy, Blaine knew Kurt was right, but didn’t know whether he could go through with it, even given that. It was just too much, too suddenly. “Can we do it in the morning?”

Looking at Blaine, Kurt reached a hand out and lightly touched Blaine’s wrist. “Okay. If that will make it easier for you.”

Blaine breathed easier at that. “Tomorrow. Promise.”

Kurt said, “Want to watch a movie in the meantime? I have some DVDs we can play on the computer.” Next thing Blaine knew, he was next to Kurt under the bedcovers leaning against the wall watching Burlesque. He almost laughed when he realized it was a movie with both Cher and Christina Aguilera, but he held it in. He was in no position to judge, anyway. His favorite movie used to be Moulin Rouge. That was of course before he became a hooker himself. He didn’t know if he could watch it anymore.

* * *

Blaine woke up with Kurt snuggled under his arm. He smelled like clean laundry and moisturizer, all citrusy and fresh. Blaine had cuddled with both Wes and David for warmth, but neither of them was gay, so it had always been brotherly. It didn’t feel that way with Kurt. He again felt the urge to pull Kurt closer and kiss him. He didn’t though. He was pretty sure Kurt just saw him as a charity case, especially with how beat up he was at present. He knew Kurt was waiting for someone special, and if there was anything he was not, it was special.

Sighing, he let his hand cup Kurt’s shoulder, but that was the only movement he made. It would have to be enough. Instead he thought about his sister. They had been close when younger, but when she became a teenager, they had grown apart. The distance had only grown when she started dating that jerk Mark. Blaine truly didn’t know if she would be happy to hear from him or whether she would tell him to stay out of her life. If she was still with Mark or someone similar, he suspected it would be the latter. She always did bend too much to keep a guy, even when they didn’t treat her well. Suddenly having a long-lost brother to help would be a strain on any relationship.

At the same time, Blaine knew Kurt was right. He would regret not contacting her and maybe at least getting the chance to hear her voice. He had missed her much more than he had ever missed their parents or Cooper. 

Blaine looked over at Kurt’s face and the eyelashes fanned over his cheek. Thinking of Kurt’s strength, he almost snorted out loud, but stopped himself just in time. As if Kurt would let him get away without contacting her. Hell, Kurt would probably go ahead and contact her himself if he thought Blaine was dithering too much. He had such a streak of iron to his will. 

Kurt started stirring, so Blaine eased away and got out of the bed. He didn’t want Kurt to see his thoughts and doubts and ask more questions. His life was already far too much of an open book to Kurt. In the bathroom, he again checked out his bruises. Fortunately the swelling in his face was starting to go down, on the other hand, the bruises were blooming spectacularly so the mottled purple and blue still kept him looking hideous. His ribs were a dull ache, but the pain seemed less which he was happy about.

Turning away from the mirror, he went and peed and then washed his hands. Afterwards, thinking he could do something nice for Kurt for once, he checked out the kitchen and refrigerator. He found the fixings for French toast, so he put the frying pan on the stove and began cracking eggs. As the first pieces were finishing, a sleepy Kurt entered the kitchen and asked, “What are you doing?”

“Making breakfast.”

“You’re hurt. You shouldn’t have to do that.”

“I want to.”

Kurt looked like he wanted to argue, but Blaine just put two pieces of French toast on a plate and pushed it at Kurt. He said, “Sit down and eat. I’ll be right there.”

Taking the plate, Kurt finally followed directions. After putting his plate down, he came back to the kitchen to get two glasses as well as the orange juice and syrup out of the fridge. Blaine put his own French toast on a plate and led the way back to the table. They sat down and had breakfast talking about the movie from last night. Finishing up, Kurt said, “That was delicious. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I’ll do the dishes.”

“I’ll dry.”

Kurt pursed his lips and Blaine thought he was going to protest again, but eventually he simply said, “That would be great. Thank you.”

Feeling comfortable, Blaine stood by Kurt as Kurt washed the dishes and he dried. He now knew where everything went and he liked the feeling of familiarity. When they finished, Kurt led the way back to the table and took out his computer with a determined air. Blaine’s gut tightened, but he simply said, “Maybe we should make me a Facebook account so I can contact her under my name instead of yours.”

Nodding, Kurt said, “We’ll have to create an email account for you too, but that’s easy enough.” Blaine dragged his chair around the table so he could sit next to Kurt and waited with him as the computer started and loaded the web browser. They then made a free email account for Blaine and then a Facebook account. The first thing Kurt did was friend Blaine’s new account. Blaine smiled at that, but Kurt nudged his shoulders and grinned widely at him. Finally when they were all set, Kurt asked, “What do you want to say?”

Thinking about it, all the things he would say to Charity’s face if she were there, he knew he wouldn’t write any of them. They would only come out if she was actually happy to hear from him. “I think we should start simple. Just say hello and that I’m alive and that she can email me back if she wants.”

“You can write it,” Kurt said. Blaine did, keeping it short and simple, hitting send before he could have second thoughts and chickening out. Hugging him loosely, Kurt didn’t say anything and neither did Blaine, who was trying not to hyperventilate.

Finally Kurt pulled away and said, “It’ll turn out fine, no matter what, I promise. If this doesn’t work, we’ll figure something else out.” It sounded so simple when Kurt said it, but Blaine knew reality was never that easy.

Blaine asked, “Can we watch another movie?” He figured the rest of the day would be an exercise in distracting himself from waiting for a return email.

“Sure.” They spent the rest of the day watching The Lord of the Rings Trilogy on Netflix. It was mindless for Blaine since he had seen them multiple times, but it was still entertaining enough to distract him for the most part. Kurt ordered pizza for lunch and they had the leftovers for dinner.

When they finally checked for a response, there was no email. Blaine tried not to be disappointed or fretful, but it was hard keeping his emotions under wraps. He was too busy imagining Charity deleting the email in a disgusted huff or something like that.

Kurt said, “It’s still early. Not everyone checks their Facebook every day.”

Blaine simply nodded.

By the time they went to bed, there was still no response.

* * *

Blaine didn’t sleep well that night. A phantom Charity kept invading his dreams with harsh words and accusations. After every dream, he would wake up in a sweat with his heart beating hard and his eyes burning with unshed tears. After the third dream happened, he gave up on sleeping and got up, standing by the window to look out.

The snow was starting to melt and shimmered in the cool light of the lampposts. It looked peaceful and pretty from the warmth of Kurt’s apartment, but Blaine knew how deceiving that was. Without Kurt he would be huddled in his squat trying to stay warm and nurse his bruises alone. Ever since Wes and David had left, he had felt so drained. Before he had done whatever was necessary just so he could face a new, possibly better day. Now he didn’t see the possibilities in each new day, he saw the struggles and tribulations, and unrelenting years of it ahead of him.

Blaine watched as the sliver of sky he could see turned pink and then blue. He was glad he hadn’t woken Kurt up with his nightmares, but at the same time he was sorry not to have Kurt’s positive presence to make everything look brighter. He was scared of so many things: of Charity never responding at all; of Kurt getting tired of him; of Kurt’s Dad convincing Kurt he was too much trouble; basically of being thrown back onto the streets. He had survived three years, but he didn’t think he had even another month in him.

Kurt’s alarm went off then. It was still ridiculously early but Kurt had explained that he was careful about his hair and clothes. He hadn’t used the word fastidious, but Blaine could translate. Kurt groaned and rolled over so his face was planted in the pillow. Blaine left the window and turned off the alarm.

After a couple of moments, Kurt rolled over. His hair was every which way and his eyes were hooded. He looked adorably grumpy and Blaine smiled at him. Kurt asked, “Have you checked yet?”

“I was waiting for you.”

Nodding, Kurt threw back the covers and stumbled up from the bed. The nerves came back to Blaine’s stomach. He took a deep breath and followed Kurt to the table where the computer was. Kurt shifted the computer so that it faced Blaine and said, “Come on. Check your email.”

Blaine typed in his email and password and held his breath as it loaded. At first he didn’t believe his eyes, but the message remained there, bolded. Impatient, Kurt asked, “Well?”

Speechless, Blaine moved the computer so that Kurt could see the message waiting for him from his sister. A huge smile broke out on Kurt’s face. “Well, read it, dummy!”

“I don’t know if I can. What if she wants nothing to do with me?”

Kurt held Blaine’s hand tight between both of his. “Hey. Like I said, if it comes to that, we’ll cross that bridge too.”

Blaine knew it wouldn’t be, couldn’t be that simple, but it was hard to remain doubtful in the face of Kurt’s fervent belief. It made all of Blaine’s doubts seem far away. He felt like Kurt could solve things with the power of his mind alone. It was a little scary putting so much faith in him, but freeing at the same time. Somehow he believed that if he stopped scrambling for just a moment nothing bad would happen; that Kurt would carry him through.

Squeezing Blaine’s hand tight, Kurt said, “Open the message, Blaine.”

His heart stuttering, Blaine opened the email. 

_“Oh my god, Blaine, is that really you? Where are you? Are you all right? I missed you so much.”_

There was more after that, but the tears streaming down Blaine’s face obscured the computer screen.

Kurt said, “Hey, hey,” and pulled Blaine into his arms. “Whatever. We don’t need her. I promise we’ll think of something.”

Finding his voice, speaking into Kurt’s shoulder, Blaine said, “No, she said she misses me.”

“Oh.” Kurt held him tighter. “That’s a good thing, right?”

“Yeah. Just. I don’t know how to believe in good things anymore.”

Kurt began petting his hair and speaking softly, said, “Did I ever tell you about high school? I was the only out guy in Lima and the jocks made my life a living hell. I at least had the promise of college to get me through. I don’t know how you’ve survived three years with no hope of better things, but I’m so glad you did, and that you found me. Your sister would have been a fool not to miss you.”

Blaine was beginning to think that Kurt was magical and could make it happen just by stating it. He had made Charity appear out of thin air, after all. He nodded and pulled back, wiping the tears from his eyes. Turning back to the computer, he read the rest of the message. She talked about her job as a nurse’s aide and how she was back in school for a nursing degree. She mentioned she was single, so apparently Mark was out of the picture. She ended the message with her phone number.

Sounding kind of anxious, Kurt asked, “May I?” He waved towards the computer.

Startling, Blaine realized that Kurt had been respecting his privacy and hadn’t read the message over his shoulder. He said, “Of course,” and turned the computer so it faced Kurt more directly.

Kurt read the message and began beaming. “She seems nice. And it sounds like she has her life in order.”

Biting his lip, Blaine thought about that, and what it meant for him. “She does. But I don’t know if it would be right to impose on her. It sounds like she has a lot on her plate already.” Blaine didn’t know if he was hesitating for Charity’s sake or for his own. Charity had made the most of her life and straightened it out, while Blaine was nothing but a hooker. He used to feel proud that he had survived for all these years on his own, but now he realized that it just made him a failure, made him less than what he had been. Like an idiot he had just dug himself a deeper hole year after year.

“Hey, no. I didn’t mean it like that. She sounds like she would be upset if you didn’t let her help you. She sounds like she values you, which is only right. She’s your sister.”

Scoffing Blaine walked away from the computer and Kurt. He went to the window and looked out at the stupid brick wall across the way. “A sister who made something of herself. She doesn’t need me coming in and messing everything up.”

“Okay, I may not be the most astute person, but even I can see you aren’t happy. What’s going on? She’s happy to hear from you, she obviously wants you in her life, what’s the problem?”

Leaning his head against the wall, Blaine wanted to yell at Kurt. Rant and rave at him for being a pushy asshole. Taking deep breaths, he said nothing. The part of him that had helped him get through the roughest encounters with johns had control. It was telling him that pissing off Kurt would just result in him being back on the streets with no way out. The funny thing was that there was a small part of him that realized that no matter how much of a dick he became, Kurt wouldn’t do that. Kurt wouldn’t just throw him back to the wolves because of some harsh words, he was stronger than that. It was Blaine who was weak. 

Kurt said, “Talk to me, Blaine. I can’t help if I don’t understand.”

Blaine twisted against the wall until he was looking at Kurt. Kurt was still sitting at the table leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. His clear gaze was intent on Blaine, but there was nothing but kindness in his countenance. The anger drained out of Blaine, leaving him empty and so fucking tired. “I don’t know if I can talk to her again. Tell her I’m nothing but a hooker living off the streets in New York like the rest of the trash. She got out and made something of herself, I got out and made myself a whore.”

Blaine watched the emotions flitter across Kurt’s face. Shock. Anger. Pity. Helplessness. Determination. “First of all, from what you said, Charity left when she was an adult, not a kid. Second of all, you’re not nothing. Those men who use you are the scum, not you.” Kurt broke eye contact and looked down at his feet. Blaine looked down too and watched as Kurt shuffled a little and his hands drooped between his knees. “I admire you, you know. I could never have survived what you’ve obviously been through. I never even would have survived high school if my Dad hadn’t been so supportive. Don’t lose your courage now. I can only imagine how hard it’s going to be, but I have faith in you.”

Sliding to the floor, Blaine folded his arms and rested his head on his knees. “I really don’t know if I can.”

Blaine didn’t lift his head, but he heard Kurt getting up. He didn’t know how much he desired Kurt’s warmth against him until Kurt was settling in next to him on the floor. “Just remember you’re not alone. I’m here for you, I promise.” Kurt rested his hand on Blaine’s shin and squeezed lightly. Blaine slumped to the side into Kurt and let Kurt wrap his arm around him. It was stupid, nothing had been solved, but knowing Kurt was there settled him again. He really was magical.

* * *

He emailed Charity again, of course. Kurt never would have allowed him to shy away from pursuing a new relationship with her. Kurt also had some secretive phone conversations with his Dad that made Blaine nervous, but he didn’t pry, mostly because he didn’t think he wanted to know, really.

After the third or fourth email with Charity, where Blaine dodged her questions as best he could, Charity emailed saying that Thursday was her day off and that she would be home all day so he should call her. Blaine hastily closed the email program before Kurt could read the message. He then jumped up from the table and began pacing, which ruined his goal to be quiet about it, but he couldn’t contain himself or his emotions.

Wrapping his arms around him, Kurt was suddenly holding him still and saying, “Deep breaths.” Blaine realized he was hyperventilating and tried to take calming breaths as directed. It did sooth him a little, although his ribs protested.

Kurt asked, “What’s going on?”

“Charity wants me to call her.”

“That’s a good thing, right?”

“I still don’t know what to tell her.”

“You have to tell her the truth at some point. I know it’ll be hard, but I think she can handle it. She’s been so great so far.”

Blaine took some more deep breaths. He whispered, “I’m so scared.”

“I know.” Kurt began stroking his hair again. It was becoming a familiar gesture, not that Blaine was complaining. He liked the innocent friendship between them especially when compared to the harsh sexuality he was confronted with previously.

Kurt said, “You can do it, though. When does she want you to call her?”

“Tomorrow.”

“I can cut class.”

Blaine thought about it, but shook his head after a couple moments. He knew he would be a crying mess on the phone and didn’t know if he could handle Kurt as well as Charity. “No, I think it will be better alone, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course not. Whatever will be easiest for you.”

“Nothing is easy about this.”

“Yeah.” Kurt hugged him gently for a second and then let go, inspecting Blaine’s face and smiling when Blaine was able to meet his gaze again. “Help me make dinner?”

“Sure.”

The rest of the night was spent in simple domestic tasks that Blaine was beginning to become accustomed to. Kurt made him feel so at home and welcome, it was a balm to his restlessness. It was becoming harder and harder to remember that this wasn’t his home, it was Kurt’s. 

As he was getting ready for bed, he again inspected his face in the mirror. His bruises were blooming spectacularly across his face with deep blues and purples now mottling around his eyes and down his cheek bones. He tried to imagine Charity seeing him like this and cringed. He knew it would happen sooner rather than later. All the emailing they were doing circled around the idea of him going back to Ohio, although nothing had been written point blank yet, but he didn’t know how he felt about that, particularly about leaving Kurt. He depended so much on him and his strength, Blaine didn’t know if he could get by without someone to lean on anymore.

Pressing against a bruise to feel the burst of pain, Blaine wondered cynically if it would actually be better for Charity to see him like this. She would be sure to pity him and hopefully want to help him. He hated thinking like that, but it was hard to turn off the voice in the back of his head that was looking for any angle to make his life survivable. He resolutely told himself that she was his sister and would want to help him anyway and turned off the light and left the bathroom.

Kurt was already snuggled under the covers and he blinked drowsily at Blaine. “Can you turn off the lights?”

“Sure.” Blaine quickly went around the apartment turning off the lights and then climbed into bed next to Kurt. They had both relaxed more and Kurt didn’t lie as stiffly as he had the first couple of nights they had shared the bed. Blaine would never tell Kurt, but he loved sleeping curled next to him. It was innocent, but still made him feel accepted in a way all Kurt’s words couldn’t.

Kurt soon drifted off, but Blaine was up half the night worrying about calling Charity tomorrow.

* * *

Daylight and Kurt’s alarm came much too soon for Blaine. Kurt went through his morning routine which took more than an hour, and which Blaine usually loved watching surreptitiously, but today Blaine just wanted him gone so he could fret in peace.

Kurt hugged him on the way out and Blaine clung desperately to him. He wanted to beg him to go and beg him to stay, so he said nothing, just smiled tight-lipped. Kurt gave him one last, lingering look and was then closing the door and on his way to class.

Blaine took a deep breath and paced the floor. It was definitely too early to call Ohio, so he had more than enough time to work himself into a state. He tried to distract himself with chores. He did the dishes and made the bed, but his mind never left the loop of how he imagined the conversation with Charity would go.

Finally around eleven, Blaine couldn’t stand the anxiety any more. Picking up the phone, he quickly dialed Charity’s number from the slip of paper he had written it on. He almost hung up when he heard the first ring, but Kurt’s voice in his head saying, “Courage,” made him hang on.

A breathless voice he’d recognize anywhere answered the phone. “Hello?”

Blaine croaked out, “Charity?”

“Blaine, is that you?” Charity sounded as close to tears as Blaine felt.

He nonsensically nodded before remembering to say, “Yeah, yeah, it’s me.”

She sobbed once, but then seemed to get herself under control. Blaine wasn’t as controlled. Tears started slipping down his face. “You’re voice is so deep now. Oh, Blaine, I’ve missed you so much.”

Wiping his tears away, Blaine responded, “I’ve missed you too.”

Blaine asked about her job and how she ended up in nursing school and kept her talking for a couple of minutes until she finally said, “You can’t distract me forever. Where are you? Why didn’t you contact me sooner?”

Crossing his arm around his torso defensively, Blaine said, “I did call you. A couple months after, well, _after._ Your phone was disconnected. I didn’t know how to find you again.”

“Why did you wait a couple months? You shouldn’t have run away; you should have come to me.”

“You were with Mark. I didn’t want to mess things up for you.”

“Oh god, Mark. What an asshole. I finally left him after he cheated on me one too many times. You should have messed things up with him. You were more important than him.”

“I don’t know how you can say that. You left with him. Left me alone with _them_.” Blaine hadn’t realized he still harbored bitterness about her leaving him alone with their parents, but he could feel the old rush of feelings coursing through him.

Charity’s voice softened. “I was a stupid kid. You’re right. I only thought about myself. I’m so sorry.” He could hear her voice thicken with emotion.

He could also hear the sincerity in her voice, but tears still threatened to spill over again. She was his only foundation back then and she had left him. He wiped angrily at his eyes. This was old news. He didn’t understand why it was upsetting him again.

“Blaine?”

“I’m here.”

“I really am so sorry. If I could do it over again, I would.”

“Okay.” Even Blaine could hear the doubt and insincerity in his voice.

“I know I let you down. I’ll do better now. I promise.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to, okay? I want to.”

Things were silent for a couple minutes then. Blaine didn’t know what to say without sounding angry or accusatory. His emotions were a mess. He heard Charity took a deep, shuddery breath before she asked, “Why won’t you talk to me? You haven’t told me anything about your life.”

Blaine rested his head on the wall by the window. It was beginning to feel like his spot for uncomfortable emotions. It was all he could do to restrain himself from banging his head hard on the stupid wall. He whispered, “I don’t want you to hate me.”

“I won’t. I couldn’t. Oh, Blaine.” And now Charity was crying for real, harsh, hiccuping sobs, and Blaine’s control was broken again and tears streamed down his face. Charity said, “Are you okay? Tell me you’re okay at least.”

“I am now. Kurt’s been a life saver.”

Charity got herself under control and her voice was much more stable when she asked, “How did you meet Kurt?”

It was now or never. He had to be honest with Charity so she knew what she was getting into. Blaine took a deep breath and said, “I picked him up hooking. I needed a place out of the snow and Kurt let me crash at his place.”

“Is he making you do things? Blaine, are you safe?” Charity sounded tense.

“Kurt’s been great. He hasn’t wanted anything from me. He’s the one who found me after I got beat up.”

Charity sounded even more frantic. “You got beat up? Are you all right? Do you need me to come out there?”

“No! No. I’m fine. I’m really fine now.”

“I still don’t understand who Kurt is.”

Suddenly the words were rushing out of Blaine. It was easier to talk about Kurt and pretend that the stuff about him had happened to someone else. “He’s just an NYU student with a big heart. My corner was near his apartment and it was snowing so I approached him. He let me crash at his place for the night and then Wes and David left and I was all alone, which isn’t good on the streets, so I got beat up. That’s when Kurt found me again and took me to the clinic and then home with him. I owe him so much.”

“And Wes and David are?”

“My friends.”

“But they’re gone?”

“One of Wes’s johns took them in two weeks ago.”

“Oh, Blaine.” Charity was crying again, Blaine could tell. He was hanging on by a thread, but he managed not to break down. 

He said, “I’m sorry.” He knew there was no reason for Charity to care about him anymore, but he wanted her to know that he still cared about her.

Charity said, “No, I‘m the one who’s sorry. I never should have left you to fend for yourself. I took the coward’s way out.”

“I would have done the same thing.”

Giving a half-hearted laugh, Charity said, “No, you wouldn’t have. You were always the better person.”

Blaine wanted to say he was the farthest thing from being a better person, but he didn’t. He knew it would sound like he was fishing for reassurance and he wasn’t. He knew what he was and knew he was nothing compared to people like Kurt and Charity.

After a couple moments of silence, Charity asked, “Are you staying in New York?”

Cautiously, trying not to trap her into helping him, Blaine replied, “I don’t know. Probably not; I can’t depend on Kurt forever, but I’ll figure something out.”

“I know Ohio wasn’t good to you, but would you consider coming back? I’m in an apartment complex, I can see about getting a two bedroom place.”

Blaine’s heart started beating hard. It was what he and Kurt had been hoping for, but now Blaine was afraid of such a drastic change. “You don’t have to do that.”

“It’s not about have to. It’s about want to. I’ve missed you.”

“I’m not the same person I was, Charity.”

“You’re still my brother though.”

“Can I think about it?”

“Of course. Talk it over with Kurt and let me know. No matter what, don’t become a stranger. You have my email and phone number now. Promise me.”

“I promise.”

They said good-bye then and Blaine hung up the phone in relief. He felt wrung out and drawn thin. It had gone better than he had imagined, certainly better than his worst fears, but he was still scared. The rest of his life was unfolding too fast and too out of his control. He didn’t know how to adjust. Just two weeks ago his life was Wes and David and sucking cock for money. He knew what to expect from that. Now it was Kurt and domesticity and his sister wanting him home. He felt like they expected more from him than some stupid whore could possibly ever provide.

* * *

By the time Kurt came home, Blaine had dinner cooking and the table set. Blaine’s old cooking skills were coming back to him. He remembered days when his parents were sleeping off a bender and he would have to fend for himself. This time around, preparing the meal helped keep him calm about his life and where it was going and how unsure he was about everything.

Kurt carefully hung up his coat on the hanger by the door and said, “Smells good.”

“It should be ready in about ten minutes.”

Blaine could feel Kurt’s gaze on him and he knew he couldn’t avoid talking about the phone call forever, but he could buy some time. Looking at Kurt, he said, “Can we talk about it after dinner?”

“Of course. Whatever you like.” Kurt then squeezed his hand briefly and went to put away his messenger bag and get changed.

Once Kurt had changed, dinner was ready and on the table. It was a simple soufflé and a salad, but Blaine knew Kurt would enjoy it. They sat down and Blaine asked about Kurt’s classes and the conversation and dinner was off and running. Blaine liked Kurt’s enthusiasm for drama and singing, and asked leading questions to keep Kurt talking. It was only partly to keep from having to talk about his conversation with Charity; he also got a kick at imagining Kurt’s student life. Although Kurt definitely did less partying than he imagined most college students did.

Speaking of which. “Why don’t you go out more?”

Blaine’s question came somewhat out of the blue, so it was no surprise when Kurt had to blink a few times before composing his response. “I did when I first got here, but it was all so shallow.” Kurt gave Blaine a wry smile. “I wanted romance and hand-holding and everyone else just wanted to do shots and get their dick sucked. I soon realized New York wasn’t going to be the panacea for all of Ohio’s ills that I hoped it would be. So I stopped and regrouped and just figured I’d meet a nice boy in a coffee shop or in class.”

“But you haven’t met a nice boy yet? I would think they’d be knocking your door down.” Blaine was truly surprised.

Kurt broke out that wry smile again. “Apparently I’m not everyone’s type. Or they aren’t my type; I’m not quite sure which.”

“That’s a travesty.”

Blushing, Kurt toyed with his food. “Oddly enough I find I mind being alone less now than when I was in high school. It’s easier knowing I could at least hook up with someone if I wanted to. Plus, I’m not getting slammed into lockers or having slushies thrown in my face every day.”

“School did suck. That was one thing I never missed.”

“What did you miss the most?”

“Our piano. I loved playing.” Blaine could still see the rickety old upright in his mind’s eye. It wasn’t anything special, but it had been his whole world growing up.

With excitement in his voice, Kurt replied, “Really? I didn’t know you could play.”

“Well, it’s been years now. I don’t know how much I remember.”

“I just sing. I never did learn an instrument.”

“I remember. You sang a couple bars the first night I was here. You have a lovely voice.”

“Thanks. Do you sing too?”

“Some. Again, it’s been years.”

“We’ll have to duet sometime.”

Kurt smiled openly at him, and Blaine couldn’t help but smile back, Kurt was so endearing. Before the moment could get uncomfortable, Blaine started clearing the dishes. Kurt jumped up and said, “I’ll do that. You cooked.”

Blaine nodded and let Kurt take charge. He wanted to earn his keep, but he didn’t want Kurt to think that he thought of the apartment as home. He reminded himself that he was just an interloper. Once Kurt was done with the dishes and Blaine had put the leftovers in the refrigerator, Blaine knew he couldn’t avoid talking to Kurt about Charity any longer. He sighed in resignation, but he could hear an imaginary Kurt telling him to man up, so once they were both seated at the table again with some tea, he said, “I told her everything and Charity still wants me to move in with her.”

With a blinding smile, Kurt reached across the table with both hands to cradle one of Blaine’s. “But that’s fantastic. I’m proud of both of you; you for coming clean and her for stepping up as a sister.”

“I hated Ohio.” Blaine was whining, but all he could remember was how miserable his life was in Ohio. Being a prostitute sucked, but it wasn’t like things had been all that great beforehand.

“Well, honestly, who wouldn’t? But it can be temporary. Just until you get back on your feet. Speaking of which, I have news too.”

Cold dread filled Blaine, but all he said was, “Oh?”

Kurt gave a reassuring squeeze and then pulled his hands back to wrap them around his cup of tea. Still one finger was tapping a beat on the rim of the cup and Blaine could tell he was nervous. “Since your sister now lives in Lima, I’ve been talking to my Dad. I convinced him to give you a job in his auto repair shop. It won’t be much money, minimum wage really, but at least you can have some independence and money coming in.” 

Blaine was floored. He could see that Kurt was surreptitiously gauging his reaction, but he was too stunned to hide anything. “I thought your father hated me.”

Waving one hand nonchalantly, Kurt replied, “He’s just overprotective and worried that you were some coke addict. I explained the truth to him and he saw it my way.”

“And what is the truth?”

“That you’re just a kid like me who’s fallen on hard times.”

Unable to let that stand, Blaine said, “That’s a little disingenuous. I’m nothing like you.” The goodness shining out of Kurt was hard to stand sometimes, but was also sorely missed when he left Blaine alone. And Blaine knew his own faults. He had that voice in the back of his mind detailing them over and over again.

Getting an obstinate look on his face, Kurt sat up straighter. “Honestly, you are just as bad as my Dad. Why can’t you see that all that stands between you and me is luck in parents? I don’t know where I would be if I hadn’t had my Dad in my corner, but I can promise you it wouldn’t be any place glamorous.”

Taking a sip of his lukewarm tea, Blaine looked closely at Kurt. He could see the fervent conviction in his face and couldn’t take a stand against it. He had no way of voicing his intrinsic doubts and lack of self-worth, so he just shrugged and knew he wasn’t convincing Kurt of his belief, but it was the best he could do. Still, even just the idea that Kurt’s passion and flame could have been snuffed out by life was depressing and unbelievable. Kurt was so much stronger than he was.

Kurt nodded decisively as if he had won the argument. “So that’s that. You have a place to stay and a job. You’ll be settled in no time.”

Oddly enough Kurt didn’t look overjoyed that his plans were coming to fruition. Blaine would have pried, but he suspected that Kurt would miss him almost as much as he would miss Kurt and he didn’t think they were ready to cope with those emotions or feelings. Instead he took another sip of his tea and Kurt did the same.

* * *

Things happened fast after that. The next time he called Charity, Kurt was home and Blaine made the mistake of allowing them to talk. Pretty soon they were laughing and organizing Blaine’s whole life. Blaine tried to get the phone back, but Kurt just kept holding up a finger in a “one more moment” gesture. Finally resigned to it, Blaine lay down on the bed and covered his eyes. When Kurt hung up the phone, he was giddy with plans. If Blaine had thought Kurt was a force to be reckoned with before, it was nothing to his scheming now.

So mere days later, Blaine was on the bus to Lima. He had packed his backpack with his meager belongings of his change of clothes, a CD player held together with tape, three CDs, some pictures of Charity, Cooper, and his parents, a pair of Kurt’s sunglasses to hide his bruised face, and Kurt’s sweatpants and t-shirt that had become “his”. He also had a healthy lunch packed by Kurt and the forty dollars his last trick had paid him. Kurt had refused to be paid back until Blaine had a solid couple weeks under his belt working for Kurt’s Dad. Unfortunately Charity had to work if she was going to have the weekend off so they could move apartments, so it was the scary promise of Kurt’s Dad picking him up at the bus station in Lima that he had waiting for him.

Which was why he was still on the rapidly emptying bus twenty hours later.

Taking a deep breath and sliding the sunglasses over his face, Blaine slowly exited the bus with one last wave at the bus driver. Recognizing Burt Hummel from Kurt’s pictures, Blaine was a still a little shocked at how broad and burly the man was. He felt small and insignificant. Still he walked as calmly as he could towards Kurt’s father and asked, “Mr. Hummel, sir?”

He could see Mr. Hummel’s eyes rake over his face from under his ball cap and catalogue the bruising. Mr. Hummel’s mouth turned down in a deep frown, but as he pointed at Blaine’s backpack, all he said was, “Is that all you got?” At Blaine’s nervous nod, his frown deepened. “Okay. Let’s get a cup of coffee and talk.”

His stomach in knots and feeling alone and scared for the first time since Kurt took him in, Blaine wondered if he was safe. He still had over thirty dollars; he could hitchhike somewhere. Hesitating, he watched as Mr. Hummel headed towards a coffee shop that was across the street. Reassured that they would be in a public place, Blaine followed.

Mr. Hummel was already seated at a booth in the back when Blaine entered the dingy little café. Blaine slid in across from him and then folded his hands on the table so he could have something to focus on. He could see the whiteness of his knuckles, his grip was so tight.

Waiting until after the waitress had delivered their coffees, Mr. Hummel said, “Take off your sunglasses.” Blaine did as requested and met Mr. Hummel’s gaze with his own. The frown was back on Mr. Hummel’s face, even as his expression hardened.

“Who beat you up and why?”

The idea of avoiding Mr. Hummel’s question only flitted through Blaine’s brain before quickly being discarded. He knew this whole conversation was a test and that the plans he and Kurt had made were on the line. Carefully he offered, “Some guys who wanted my corner.”

“And why now?”

“It used to be Wes, David, and me, but they got a gig uptown. Without them I was vulnerable.”

“And why didn’t you go with those guys?”

“The john they hooked up with didn’t want me.” 

Blaine could see the uncomfortable emotions flicker across Mr. Hummel’s face when he mentioned the john. Still, he didn’t back down. Next he asked, “Are you on drugs? And don’t lie to me.”

“No, sir.” At Mr. Hummel’s searching look, Blaine decided to offer a little more to convince him. “I found being out of control like that scary on the streets.”

Mr. Hummel just gave a noncommittal hum at that. He then leaned forward and spoke fiercely. “Kurt is a wonderful boy, always seeing the best in people. I’m not as trusting as him. Since he believes in you, I will give you a chance, but if this is all a ploy to take advantage of my son, I will take you down.”

Gulping, Blaine just nodded. He could tell that Mr. Hummel meant every word. A small part of his heart was envious of the obvious love between Mr. Hummel and Kurt, but most of it was glad that Kurt had always had Mr. Hummel fighting for him. Kurt deserved the best. 

“All right. Finish up your coffee and we’ll head to the shop so I can show you around.”

As Mr. Hummel paid, Blaine quickly downed his coffee, hoping it would help him stay awake. It had been a long bus ride and he was exhausted, but he didn’t want to let his guard down around Mr. Hummel. He fiercely missed Kurt’s comforting presence, but pushed it down. He knew he couldn’t dwell on what-ifs or the past. His future was here in Ohio with Charity. Wanting Kurt was a fantasy as Mr. Hummel had just shown.

They drove to Mr. Hummel’s auto repair shop and Blaine got the nickel tour and was introduced to Mr. Hummel’s employee Joe. He was then put to work sweeping the floors and washing the cars that were ready to be picked up. It was easy, light work and Blaine was glad that nothing more was demanded of him just yet. The afternoon passed in a blur and before he was ready, the clock neared the time when Charity would show up. Blaine began working slower and slower, jumping every time the door jingled, signaling a new customer. Mr. Hummel kept watching him, Joe having left early since he had opened the shop, but Blaine didn’t care if Mr. Hummel knew he was nervous.

As the door opened for the fourth time, Blaine saw the cascade of elegant, black curls held back with a clip before he recognized Charity’s face. He froze in place on the other side of the counter. Charity’s gaze honed in on him and shock registered on her face. “Blaine? Oh my god, you said you were hurt, but I had no idea it was this bad.” A trembling hand flew up to her mouth.

Blushing, Blaine couldn’t find the words to explain yet again how he got beat up. Before the silence grew uncomfortable, Charity rushed forward and around the counter to throw her arms around him, hugging him tight. It hurt his ribs, but he didn’t say anything. It was too good being shown how obviously happy she was to see him. She whispered, “I missed you so much. I’m here now, I promise.”

Tears prickled at the back of Blaine’s eyes, but he blinked rapidly to contain them. He carefully wrapped his arms around Charity and said, “Thanks for taking me in.”

She said, “Don’t be silly.” Pulling back, they both noticed Mr. Hummel standing nearby wiping his hands on a rag. Charity disentangled herself and approached him with her hand out. “Mr. Hummel? Thank you so much for all you and your son are doing. It means so much to me to have my brother back.”

They shook hands, Charity wrapping Mr. Hummel’s large hand in both of hers, as Mr. Hummel said, “It is Kurt you should be thanking.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I plan on sending that boy that biggest arrangement of flowers I can find. You have no idea how happy he’s made me.”

Blaine looked down at his feet in embarrassment. He really wasn’t worth the fuss, but there never had been any way to stop Charity or her enthusiasm. When he looked up he found Mr. Hummel scrutinizing him for the thousandth time. He didn’t know what showed on his face, but for once Mr. Hummel didn’t look at him like he was dirt on the bottom of his shoe.

Mr. Hummel said, “I’ll see you on Monday, Blaine.”

Nodding, Blaine then let his sister wrap their arms together so she could lead him out into the evening gloom. Charity led him to an older, mid-sized Honda and he threw his backpack on the backseat before sliding into the passenger side. As Charity settled in and started the car, she said, “My place is only a mile or so away, luckily. You can walk to Mr. Hummel’s shop on Monday and I’ll pick you up in the evening.”

“You don’t have to do that. I can walk back too.”

“Maybe once it gets lighter. For now I’d feel better if you didn’t.” Blaine would have preferred walking, but he shrugged and demurred. He didn’t want to cause Charity any worry.

Her apartment was really close since they were already pulling into the parking lot and had been in the car for maybe ten minutes. “I’m on the second floor here on the right until we move to a two-bedroom place there on the left this weekend. Sorry to immediately put you to work, but I have a number of friends helping us too. Your furniture will be delivered at the same time.”

“I don’t mind.” Blaine almost said she shouldn’t move, that the couch would be fine, but he knew it would be futile so he kept his mouth shut. Charity was determined in her plans, almost as determined as Kurt. He also secretly wanted his own room and his own bed, which made him feel guilty, but he still didn’t say anything.

They exited the car and walked to a door in the middle of three other doors on the right. It opened right onto a staircase and Charity led the way upstairs saying, “The door locks automatically, but you probably want to throw the deadbolt. I don’t plan on us leaving again tonight.” Blaine locked the deadbolt and marveled for a second at being on the warm side of a locked door that was to be his home. Kurt’s place had always been homey, but Blaine had known it wasn’t meant for him.

At the top of the stairs was the living room and dining room combo. The living room sofa set had flowers on it and the dining room set was made of light wood and glass. It was very feminine, but it wasn’t like Blaine cared about that. The rooms were full of boxes and he smiled at Charity when she started nervously pushing at one of the towers of boxes. She said, “I know it doesn’t look very welcoming, but it is a very comfortable couch at least, I promise.”

“I’m sure it’s fine,” Blaine said as he dropped his backpack by the end of the couch and continued with, “Want to show me around?”

Charity nodded and pulled him further into the room. “This is the main room and the kitchen is here. Feel free to help yourself to anything.” She then took him down a short hallway and pointed out the bathroom on the left and her bedroom on the right. Her bedroom was full of more boxes. They were a reminder that Charity was doing so much to fit Blaine into her life. Blaine was humbled by it all.

They ate a quick dinner of spaghetti, which Blaine yawned continuously over. He felt bad, but it had been a long day on top of a long bus ride. After they put the dishes in the dishwasher, Charity made up the couch for him and apologized for keeping him up. Blaine waved off her concerns, but he was happy to finally rest when the couch was ready and he had brushed his teeth.

Exhausted, he was asleep in seconds.

* * *

Blaine didn’t sleep as well as he did at Kurt’s apartment. He missed the solid warmth of Kurt at his back and the couch actually wasn’t that comfortable to sleep on. The cushions slid around and he ended up with his butt between two cushions time and time again. Still, he was warm and safe, so it wasn’t worth complaining about even with the restless night.

As dawn was rising, Blaine heard the automatic coffee maker start hissing, so he got up and stopped pretending to sleep. He straightened the couch and folded the blankets and sheets he had slept in. He didn’t want to disrupt Charity’s morning routine, so he held off on taking a shower until he could fit it around her schedule, instead grabbing a cup of coffee. He was glad he had waited when he heard her alarm go off and the shower turn on a couple of minutes later. 

After Blaine took a shower and changed into his spare clothes, they had a rushed breakfast. Charity told Blaine about the friends coming over to help them move, and tried to convince Blaine that he should just direct the helpers at the new apartment. He insisted that since Charity knew where everything went, it was a better job for her. They argued for a couple minutes, but Charity eventually, reluctantly, backed down. Blaine was happy she did. He hated feeling useless and there was only so much more of it he could take. His ribs barely hurt now and his bruising looked worse than it felt. He could totally lug a couple boxes from one corner of the apartment complex across the lawn to the other.

Charity checked her watch and said, "My friends won't be here for a half an hour yet. Let me show you the new place." She smiled winningly at him and Blaine smiled back. Her excitement was infectious, and Blaine didn't try to restrain his enthusiasm when they reached the new apartment. He wanted Charity to know how much this meant to him and to know that he recognized how much she was changing her life for him.

The new place was on the first floor, so luckily they wouldn't have to lug the furniture down the stairs and then right back up new steps. The living room and kitchen combination was slightly larger than the old apartment with big closets and a washer/dryer along the dividing wall. Charity beamed at him when she showed him the extra space and Blaine whistled in appreciation. He wasn't even faking it. After staying with Kurt for a couple days, he could appreciate having a washing machine right there and clean clothes whenever he wanted. 

Charity then led him down the short hallway to the bathroom and bedrooms. Almost apologetically, Charity said, "Since my furniture won't fit in the smaller bedroom, I have to take the larger room."

"Of course you should. It's your place," Blaine replied.

"No, it's _our_ place. I want it to be your home as much as mine." 

Blaine ducked his head and nodded instead of saying anything. There was no way to express how even the thought of having a home made him feel.

Charity seemed to get that he needed a change of topic because she left the doorway of the larger bedroom and pulled him into the smaller bedroom. "So this is your room. I think you'll like it. The window faces the creek running behind the building and I ordered furniture I think you’ll like. I remember you loving those old movies, so I bought pieces that reminded me of them." The carpet was mottled beige and the walls were white, standard rental property affair, but Blaine didn't care. It was four walls and a roof with a door that locked that was all his. He turned around in a circle before impulsively giving Charity a hug.

She laughed and hugged him back, hard. She said, "Come on, we need to get back to the old place. My friends should be arriving any minute now."

They trooped over to the old apartment where Blaine could see two muscular guys were lounging on the stoop. Nervous, afraid that they would hate him on sight or demand to know why he was ruining Charity's life, Blaine hung back as Charity rushed forward to give them each a hug.

With an arm linked to each of them, she turned them towards Blaine. "Blaine, these are the greatest guys in the world, Carlos, an orderly at the hospital where I work, and Jim, a paramedic for the local fire department."

Carlos was the first to step forward, with his hand outstretched and a smile on his face. Blaine shook hands with both of them, wishing he could blend into the background. Carlos's smile remained genial and carefree as he claimed it was great to meet Blaine. On the other hand, Jim gave Blaine a searching look, seemingly cataloguing his bruises. As they shook hands, he said, "It's been like pulling teeth to get Charity to talk about you. I was beginning to think you were imaginary."

Unsure what to say, looking to Charity for guidance, Blaine shrugged. Charity, thankfully, stepped into the breach and said, "Well now you can see he’s real and stop worrying about my mental health. I'm just as sane as I always was."

Carlos sent a quicksilver grin Blaine's way and replied, "Just as insane, you mean. No more, no less."

Charity stuck her tongue out at Carlos as Carlos and Jim both laughed. Blaine smiled, knowing it was a joke, but still feeling unsure of his welcome and unsure how close Charity's relationships were with the two men. 

Charity invited them in for coffee to start the morning and Jim picked up a box of donuts that he had left on the stoop while they made the introductions. 

As soon as they were inside and the coffee was poured, Charity's friend Sara also showed up and was introduced to Blaine. She was a nurse at Charity's hospital and Charity claimed her as her mentor, despite it obviously embarrassing Sara. It was cute how much Charity looked up to her, so Blaine tried to be as friendly and gentlemanly as possible. His efforts were partly marred by Sara tsking over his bruises and making him promise not to overexert himself today. 

She also seemed to be giving him sympathetic looks that Blaine couldn't interpret. It was obvious how close she was to Charity, so Blaine wondered if Charity had shared his past with her. He didn't know how he felt about that, wasn't sure he wanted these strangers to judge him or pity him, but at the same time, didn't think it would be right to ask Charity to lie to her friends.

Since Sara was the last helper coming, after finishing their coffee and donuts, they got busy carrying boxes and furniture. The morning went by quickly. Charity and Sara conspired so that Blaine carried the lightest boxes, but he didn’t mind. Being allowed to help was good enough for him, and he could move the boxes fast, so that he was making two trips for Sara’s one. Carlos and Jim moved the furniture, working like a well-oiled machine, and Charity confided that they worked off-the-books for a moving company sometimes. 

When they broke for lunch, all that was left in the old apartment were bits and pieces. They crowded around the kitchen counter to eat the pizza that they had delivered. Charity’s friends were joking and laughing, but Blaine remained mostly silent, only talking when asked a question. By the lack of personal questions about where he had been and what he had been doing, he knew that Charity had at least warned her friends that they were off-limits. Since he was so relieved to not have to explain his past to strangers, he decided he didn’t mind Charity sharing with her friends. They didn’t treat him like dirt, just a little carefully.

As they were cleaning up, Charity’s phone rang and there was a flurry of activity as Blaine’s furniture was delivered. Luckily they didn’t have to put it together, so it was just a matter of directing the delivery guys to the back bedroom of the new apartment and clearing out the plastic wrapping.

After cleaning the old apartment, with five of them it was quick work, Charity’s friends all said good-bye and headed out to enjoy their evening. Blaine picked up his backpack while Charity gathered the broom and dustpan and they left the empty apartment behind.

Charity was giving his backpack glances, so Blaine asked, “What?”

“I didn’t notice before, but is that all you have?”

Shrugging as nonchalantly as he could, Blaine replied, “There isn’t really safe storage space on the streets.”

With forced cheerfulness, Charity said, “Well, we’ll just have to pick you up a couple of things when we go shopping tonight for bedding and curtains for your room.”

“I can’t afford that.” Blaine knew Charity would insist on paying, and that he would let her in the end, but he needed to protest. She was already doing so much for him. As he thought, she pushed and won her way, but Blaine insisted on keeping the receipts so he could pay her back. They were both satisfied by this arrangement.

* * *

On Sunday, Charity and Blaine went food shopping and then spent the rest of the day settling into the new apartment. By dinner time they were done unpacking and arranging everything, and Charity made a chocolate cake for desert as a celebration. Blaine didn’t even know she could bake, but the cake was really good. She had certainly never learned it from their parents.

Afterwards, Charity invited him to watch TV with her, but Blaine demurred to turn in early. He cited his first official day at the Hummel garage as the reason, but in reality, he wanted some time to himself. He carefully closed his bedroom door and sat on the bed to look around his new room. The furniture Charity had picked out had a deep cherry stain on classic, hefty bones. The headboard of the bed was solid with a slight sleigh-bed curve, while the desk and dresser were blocky with small fleur-de-lis details at the corners. The curtains were a dark green as was the bedspread. It was classic and masculine and Blaine loved it a lot. He couldn’t believe it was his and his alone. Running a hand along the bedspread, feeling the weave of the fabric, he took a shuddery breath. 

Berating himself that he was being emotional for no reason, Blaine shifted to lie on his back and picked up his new alarm-clock/radio, another gift from Charity. Blaine knew she was buying him useful things that he needed to be a normal person, but it all felt like too much. All of Charity’s and Kurt’s fancy trappings couldn’t make him comfortable in these settings again. 

He knew that Kurt and Charity would both tell him how wrong he was, but knowing that was no help. Neither of them knew what it was like. But at least this gift, besides getting him up for his job, gave him the solace of music to distract his thoughts from those dark places. He found a Top Forty radio station and listened, letting his mind wander.

He realized he had forgotten to call Kurt with all the activity of moving distracting him. He wanted to do that as soon as possible. Partly so Kurt didn’t worry, but mostly because he missed Kurt. Kurt had quickly become a good friend and Blaine felt strongly for him. The worst thing about coming back to Ohio was the lack of Kurt in his life. In his deepest thoughts, he yearned for Kurt to want him the way he wanted and cherished Kurt. 

He fell asleep thinking of Kurt and listening to Katy Perry and Lady Gaga on the radio, wondering what tomorrow would bring.

* * *

The next morning, Blaine woke up early enough to grab the first shower and have breakfast ready for Charity when she finished her own shower. His stomach was knotted at the thought of facing Mr. Hummel again, but he knew he had to suck it up. It was just so hard being in debt to someone who obviously didn't like him. Knowing he would have to stand it for eight hours a day, five days a week was daunting. Thoughts like ‘California couldn't be worse than New York’ flittered through his head. It was only the thought of Charity and Kurt that kept him from running again.

Finally, after double-checking that he didn't want a ride to the garage, Charity hugged him and wished him a good day on her way to her shift at the hospital. Left alone, Blaine cleaned the breakfast dishes and straightened his new jeans and plain t-shirt. After making a sandwich for lunch, with a heavy feeling in his chest, he locked the door and headed towards the road. He did take a second when pocketing the key to wonder at having a key to his own home, but that was the only relief from his anxiety.

It took less than twenty minutes to reach the garage, so he was the first one there and it was still locked up. He sat on the curb by the office entrance and turned his face up to the sun. There was still a chill in the air, but the day was dawning bright and clear. The cool air felt good, even though he had goosebumps on his arms. 

A truck pulled up next to him and Blaine could see Mr. Hummel giving him an inscrutable look. He wondered if Mr. Hummel had thought he wouldn't show up today, or had even hoped he wouldn't. Sighing, Blaine stood up and brushed off his jeans. Mr. Hummel got out of his truck with his own brown paper bag lunch and said, "Ready to work?"

Blaine said, "Yes, sir."

Mr. Hummel replied, "You're too polite for a mechanic. Call me Burt."

Blaine simply nodded. He didn't think he could ever call Mr. Hummel, Burt, except in his mind, but he wasn't going to argue with him about it. Burt unlocked the door and turned on the lights and Blaine followed him inside. They put away their lunches, Burt gave him a pair of coveralls with a nametag that said ‘Frank’ sewn on it, and directed him towards the couple of cars they had finished late Friday night that needed to be washed. 

Blaine got to work, letting the sounds of the garage machinery wash over him. Joe started late on Mondays and Tuesdays, so it was just him and Burt, but Burt was immersed in a tricky repair, so Blaine got to zone out on his own work without interruption or feeling like he was being watched every second.

Once he finished with the cars, without bothering Burt, Blaine began sweeping the garage and straightening the work areas. When Burt noticed, he nodded his approval, but otherwise didn't bother Blaine and they worked in silence. 

Customers started arriving around noon to drop off and pick up cars, breaking up the rhythm of Blaine's morning. Joe also arrived and Burt instructed Joe to show Blaine how to change the oil and rotate the tires in a Chevy. Blaine didn't mention that he had done both before, since it was back when he was a youngster and was ages before he had run away. Joe was a taciturn man who didn't say much and Blaine liked him. He didn't look at Blaine like he was dirt, he just accepted that Blaine was a friend of Kurt's, who he liked and respected, so he assumed the same about Blaine.

The day passed like that and was less fraught with tension than Blaine had expected. As it turned out, although Burt was still scary to Blaine (he had too much power over Blaine's life not to be), he didn't actively try to make Blaine uncomfortable and mostly left him alone as long as he was working productively. Blaine's grudging respect for Burt grew as the day went on and his anxiety lessened, but he was still glad to leave at five thirty when Charity showed up to drive him home.

That night he watched TV with Charity and marveled at how unreal the shows were. Charity didn't seem to notice Blaine's reaction to them. She was too busy regaling him with tales of the hospital. She seemed extra happy to have him there and as he listened to her discuss her day; he realized that Charity had been lonely beforehand. She had apparently been on her own for over a year, ever since she dumped the boyfriend after Mark, and since she was focusing on school and work, she didn't really have time to meet new people or hang out. So having Blaine to come home to was a treat for her.

Blaine vowed to be as a good a housemate and brother as possible. He wanted Charity to continue to feel that inviting him into her house was the right thing to do. 

It was bittersweet, but Blaine also called Kurt to say he had arrived fine and was settling in. He assumed Burt had already talked to Kurt, but he wanted to give Kurt his new home number as well as just hear his voice. Kurt was excited to hear from him and asked him all sorts of questions about settling in that he didn't know how to answer. Kurt seemed to think that all of Blaine's issues were solved, so Blaine didn't know how to explain how unreal it all still felt to him and as if it could disappear in a flash. He tried to get news out of Kurt, but Kurt kept claiming that things were the same and totally boring.

He wished he could call Wes and David to make sure they were all right too. He missed them almost as much as he missed Kurt. He had known them longer and they had protected his back, but there was a bitter pill of resentment lodged in his chest which mitigated some of his feelings. He knew he shouldn’t feel that way, things had turned out for the best, but there was nothing he could do about it.

* * *

The next couple of weeks passed in the same way as Blaine got used to his new life as much as his fears would allow. He never lost his healthy respect for Burt, but he did relax as time went on. Burt also seemed to get used to Blaine. He would joke around with Joe and let Blaine choose the radio station they played during working hours at the garage. Blaine compromised by picking the Oldies station. He didn't quite see Burt as a Lady GaGa fan like his son. 

Charity remained happy to share her life with him and she told him stories from both the hospital and her classes easily. She had also made him get a bank account when he got his first paycheck. He had been glad to acquiesce. It was another sign of his new life and he didn't have to walk around with wads of cash that would get stolen. He felt like a real person with that card and the ID card she helped him get at the DMV.

Blaine relaxed his guard enough that it was like being doused with freezing cold water when Mrs. Waterstone cornered him in the garage office and offered him a hundred dollars to fuck her. Blaine couldn't squeeze past her without getting personal, and that added to his fears about how Burt would react if he didn't accept the money and whore himself out again and Mrs. Waterstone complained about him. He felt like a deer being barreled at by a semi-ton truck. He had gotten used to not being touched except by Charity, so Mrs. Waterstone's pawing was unwelcome. He suddenly felt like there was a flashing sign over his head proclaiming him to be nothing but a two-bit hooker. Mrs. Waterstone's hand was carding through his hair and he couldn't keep the shudder of revulsion from wracking his body.

She didn't notice or she didn't care. Blaine didn't know what would have happened next if Burt hadn't appeared in the doorway just then and loudly ask, "What the hell is going on?"

Mrs. Waterstone jumped, which gave Blaine just enough room to scurry out of the corner. Mrs. Waterstone was spinning some story about hiring Blaine to do yard work, but Blaine didn't lift his head. He couldn't meet Burt's eyes. He had no idea what Burt would do or believe and his heart was beating like a drum. Burt said, "Blaine, go help Joe."

Surprised, Blaine lifted his head and met Burt's gaze. Burt looked furious and Blaine paled. Trying not to run, Blaine left the office but didn't go to Joe who was under a Cadillac in the far corner. He went to the opposite corner by the tool bench and hid in the parts shelving. Jamming himself against the wall between two shelving units, Blaine began shaking. He was going to lose his job and it was his own damn fault. He didn't know what it was about him that attracted the scum of the earth, but he had it in spades. Taking shallow, gasping breaths, Blaine rested his head on a shelf of oil filters and blinked back his tears.

He didn't know how he would break the news to Charity, but he had a couple hundred dollars squirreled away from working for the past six weeks, maybe it was time to take that bus to California. He could be home and gone before Charity got off work. Blaine began mapping out his route to the bus depot, which was on the other side of town. The bus that went down this street must intersect with one that went there. He wouldn’t be able to pay Kurt back, but he suspected Kurt didn’t want his money anyway.

Burt found him there a couple minutes later when Blaine was just about to sneak out of the garage. Blaine turned around and Burt was just standing there watching him. Feeling trapped again, Blaine didn't move a muscle. Burt finally said, "I told Mrs. Waterstone to take her business elsewhere."

His mouth falling open, Blaine was too surprised to hide his astonishment. Before Blaine found his voice, Burt went on. "Anyone treats you like that, you come get me, you understand?"

His tongue finally unsticking, Blaine said, "I didn't do anything."

"I know, kid. It was obvious." Burt's expression was sympathetic. Blaine didn't know what to make of it or Burt's actions, but he was still too afraid to ask, so he just nodded jerkily and waited. Burt sighed and lifted his cap so he could run a hand over his head. "I'm not mad at you. I shouldn't have left you alone with Mrs. Waterstone. She's always skirted the edge of inappropriate. I didn't think she would corner you."

Blaine broke their staring contest, shifting his gaze to the side, and tried to shrug nonchalantly. He didn't know if he succeeded, but he still said, "I'm used to it."

"Nobody should be used to it," Burt said fiercely.

Too speechless at Burt’s actions, Blaine shrugged again. It would be stupid to tell Burt that the world didn't work that way, he obviously knew it, even if he didn't approve of it.

"Why don't you take a break? Joe and I can handle things for a while. And, Blaine?" Blaine raised an eyebrow at Burt's questioning tone. "If anything like that happens again, you yell for me. You got that?"

Blaine held Burt's gaze. He nodded slowly and watched as Burt's shoulders relaxed at his assent. It was so surprising having someone who wanted to protect his back again. He had lost that when Wes and David moved on. And this was different. This was actual protection from the rough times, not just support through them. He wondered if the swelling feeling in his chest was how Kurt went around feeling all the time. 

Burt left the storage area and Blaine followed slowly, taking a left to go towards the break room, while Burt continued straight into the main garage bay. Blaine sat down heavily at the break room table and rested his head in his hands. He was still shaking slightly and he took some deep breaths to calm down. 

He kept on thinking that he should be stronger and tougher than this. There was no reason to be so shaken up by some stupid, horny housewife. He hadn't frozen like that since his early days on the streets. It was scary how easily he had lost his toughness. Sitting up straight, he vowed to do something about it. He needed to feel more in control. He had not gotten a new knife since his old one was taken, but he would fix that as well as finding some fighting classes, karate or something. He wasn't going to let this new life completely take him apart.

* * *

That Friday night, Blaine spent a long time in the bathroom looking in the mirror. He wondered what other people saw when they looked at him that made him a target. Focusing on his mop of curls, Blaine grimaced. He hated his hair and suspected that had a lot to do with people looking down on him. He had worn it long and shaggy when hooking. It made him look younger and it wasn't like he could afford a haircut every two weeks. But things were different now and he realized he didn't have to be this person anymore, let alone look like an easy target. 

Saturday morning, Charity invited him to go grocery shopping, but Blaine demurred. He just said he had errands to run and luckily Charity didn't push. 

First Blaine found the nearest barber shop. When he said to cut it all off, leaving only an inch or so of hair, the barber simply nodded and asked Blaine if he was new to the area. Blaine mentioned working at Hummel's Lube and Tires which opened up the conversation a lot and they had a genial discussion. Blaine kind of marveled at it. He felt like he was playing the role of blue collar worker for the barber as he watched his hair fall in droves to the floor. When the barber handed him a mirror so he could check out the back, Blaine finally looked in the big mirror in front of him. 

The barber was speaking but Blaine was too distracted to follow the conversation. He looked so different. More mature and less like a waif. He liked it a lot. The barber finally tapped his shoulder to get his attention and to ask him again how he wanted his hair styled. Blaine asked if he could have it slicked back; he wanted to look as differently as possible and he thought that would complete the look.

The barber made a joke about harkening back to the fifties greasers and Blaine laughed, but secretly that was exactly the look he was going for.

Next to the barber shop was a hardware store and Blaine saw a display case of Swiss army knives in the window. He knew he couldn't easily get a switchblade like he had, but he figured a simple, Swiss army knife might be an acceptable compromise. The door jingled as he entered and the smell of sawdust filled the air.

It was crowded so Blaine took a number and wandered around a bit before ending up in front of the knife display. They were expensive and Blaine cringed, but knew he would have to bite the bullet. This was too important. He wasn't going to be caught off guard again.

Most of the knives were too big and had more features than he wanted. He really wanted a simple blade. The closest he found were some three-blade pocket knives that looked like they would be lightweight and easy to use. Luckily they were also some of the cheaper ones for sale. When his number was called he asked the clerk if he could see the stockman pocket knife. The clerk took it out of the case and handed it to Blaine, talking up its features. It was light enough, possibly even lighter than his old knife, and Blaine had no trouble opening it. He scanned the other knives one last time, but knew he had the best of the lot.

After buying it, he stopped for lunch at a fast food joint. He just wanted a quick meal and didn't want to deal with wait staff. Once he was done eating, he checked the address he had gotten from the phone book for a boxing gym. He had also written down the address of a karate studio, but after analyzing his map during lunch, he discovered it was farther away than he had thought and would require a bus ride. The boxing gym was actually just ten blocks east of the garage and seemed like a better idea. Public transit in Lima was nothing like New York City. Most of the buses stopped running by nine at night, some routes even stopped at six.

Putting in his earbuds, Blaine walked to the gym listening to music that Charity had downloaded onto her computer for him to put on his new mp3 player. It was just the new Katy Perry and a couple Pink albums, but they made him happy. It took about forty minutes to reach the gym but it was another crisp, sunny day and Blaine enjoyed the walk.

The gym was large and warehouse-like, with the gym entrance on the west-side far from the dumpsters. His gait slowed down as he approached. He hoped these guys didn't look at him and see the no-good hooker, but instead saw the tough guy he wanted to be.

The door creaked ominously as he opened it and the low light inside made it hard to see far. He could smell sweat and disinfectant and hear the sound of heavy bags being hit repeatedly. The door slammed behind him and a guy leaning on the ropes of the ring turned and headed towards him. He was an older guy with scraggly gray hair and was wearing sweatpants and a muscle shirt. His arms were massive and his hands were scarred.

As he approached Blaine, he took the towel from around his neck and wiped his hands. "Can I help you, son?"

Blaine gulped and then stood up straight. The guy was tall and dwarfed Blaine, but Blaine didn't want to act afraid. He said, "I'm interested in learning to box?" He cringed when it came out as a question, but he still managed to look the man in the eye. 

The man pursed his lips and looked Blaine up and down, though all he said was, "Membership is fifty dollars a month. Lessons cost extra."

"How much extra?"

"Set of ten costs two hundred."

Unable to stop himself, Blaine grimaced. He wanted the lessons but that would decimate his savings quickly. "Is it all due at once?"

"Half up front; half later." The man was scrutinizing Blaine fairly closely now and it was all Blaine could do not to squirm under his gaze. Blaine felt like a fake; like if the guy saw through Blaine he would kick him out.

Nodding as confidently as he could, Blaine said, "Where do I sign up?"

"I'm Max. Come on back to the office." Max turned around and strode towards the far corner where a glass office was situated. Sitting down behind the desk, Max shuffled some papers, finally pulling some blank forms together. Blaine stood in front of the desk, too nervous to sit down. Max explained the forms and liability release. 

Max scanned the card and said, "I charged one hundred and fifty now. You'll owe another hundred and fifty next month to be paid on the first."

"That's fine."

Max asked Blaine for good lesson times and they agreed on Tuesday nights, but Blaine could use the gym as much as he liked for his own workouts. He agreed that he would have a lesson first, though, so that he could be taught the proper way to train. Max's gaze swept over Blaine and Blaine froze, wondering if he had been made, but all Max said was, "Sweatpants and cotton t-shirts are fine, but you'll want better sneakers. Towels are provided by the gym. You'll get the grand tour when you come back for your lesson."

That seemed to be the end of Max's speech since he held out his hand for a handshake. After shaking hands, Blaine said "So, I'll see you on Tuesday."

"You betcha."

With one last glance back, Blaine headed back for the door as Max headed back to the ring in the middle of the floor. Once outside, as his eyes adjusted to the sunshine, Blaine let out a deep breath. That had gone faster than he expected, but he felt good about it. Between the lessons and his new knife, he felt prepared to face the future.

When he got back to the apartment, Charity was home. She did a double-take and her hand flew to her mouth. "Your hair!"

Blushing slightly and shrugging, Blaine replied, "I wanted a change." He knew better than to explain why he wanted the change to Charity. She wouldn't understand and was like Kurt in thinking all his problems were solved just by getting off the street. They didn't understand the real world, not really.

Charity reached up and touched the side of his head by his ear. She said, "No, it looks good. You look very dashing." Blushing for real this time, Blaine ducked his head and pulled away. He was embarrassed by the attention, and Charity seemed to realize it, because she said, "Help me make dinner. You can chop up the salad."

After dinner, Blaine went back to his room and closed the door. He put on his radio and as he listened to the Saturday night dance mix, he analyzed his knife and practiced snapping it open and fishing it out of his pocket quickly. By the time he was ready to sleep, he was satisfied with his progress.

* * *

Blaine told Charity he had joined a gym, but he made it sound like an exercise gym, not a boxing gym. He didn't really know why he hid it from her, except that it felt too personal. But, still, he didn’t want to answer questions about where he disappeared to every Tuesday and figured half the truth was best. Charity even helped him pick out better gym shoes on Sunday.

By Tuesday, Blaine's nervousness was at an all-time high. He didn't mention anything to Burt or Joe, but his restlessness must have shown because Burt pulled him to the side and awkwardly asked if everything was all right living with Charity. Blaine reassured him and tried harder to act normal for the rest of the afternoon. He didn't need Burt looking over his shoulder and getting involved in his personal life any more than he already was.

Once work was thankfully over, he scooped up his backpack and headed east towards the gym. It wasn't a long walk, so he arrived about twenty minutes early for his lesson, but he had to change, so he figured his timing was perfect. Max and a couple others noticed him when he arrived, and Max waved him over. He said, "Blaine, this is Roger. He'll be your instructor to start with." Roger was another tall guy, but bulkier than Max, if that was even possible. 

They shook hands, Roger squeezing tight. "Let me show you around."

Blaine nodded at Max and followed Roger around the gym. Roger showed him the locker room, where Blaine quickly changed, and walked him through the equipment and circuits available for Blaine to work on his own. He took his time and was thorough, discussing safety and proper technique. As they toured the gym, Roger also asked Blaine about his experience and why he was there. Blaine didn't reveal much; just that he was new in the area and finally had a job that allowed him the money to pursue his life-long dream of learning to box. In other words, he stretched the truth, but again he figured it was close enough to pass muster. 

Once the tour was over, Roger showed Blaine how to tape his hands and then started showing him how to throw punches and work with the heavy bag as well as the speedball. They discussed how often Blaine should work out and what circuits he should do on his own. Roger was a little condescending, but Blaine could tell it was because he was a newbie, and wasn't meant as a real slight against Blaine. They apparently got a lot of guys that came initially and then never followed up. Blaine knew the only way to prove he was different was to show up day after day.

Explaining that Blaine wouldn’t be allowed in the ring until he got approval from both Roger and Max, Roger looked at Blaine seriously. Blaine understood the nonverbal cue. If he fucked up and went in the ring without approval, he would be out on his ass. He nodded seriously and said, “That’s fine.”

Roger also cautioned Blaine against working out too much; that it was better to give his muscles time to rebuild in-between work outs. Blaine nodded and mentally decided that a Tuesday-Thursday-Saturday schedule would work for him. His lessons were on Tuesday, but he could just spend extra time that night. When he asked, Charity had looked up GED classes, and he knew those classes were Monday and Wednesday, and he usually talked to Kurt on Friday nights. It would be a bit overwhelming, but learning to fight was too important to skip out on.

Roger parked him in front of a speedball and then tutored Blaine through the rhythm of the punches, correcting every now and then when Blaine lost concentration and messed up. Blaine loved it, even with all his mistakes. He couldn't wait to really work with the heavy bag; he had a feeling that would be even more satisfying. Feeling the impact jar up his arm and into his shoulder might make him feel powerful for once. 

By the end of his lesson he was comfortable with the speedball and had done one circuit under Roger's tutelage. Blaine felt accomplished and energized. He took a shower and changed back into his street clothes for the walk home. He waved goodbye to Max and Roger and then turned up the music in his mp3 player and headed home.

* * *

The next couple of weeks passed quickly for Blaine. His body ached from all the training he did, but it was a good ache most of the time. Roger was a great teacher, patient and thorough. Charity was happy because he did sign up for the GED classes. It was weird being in class again, but Blaine was the youngest there by far, so being with adults who treated it seriously made all the difference. Most of the other students had backgrounds as rough as Blaine’s so he felt at home there and was treated as an equal.

The highlight of his week remained talking with Kurt on Friday nights. Blaine would take the phone into his bedroom and lie back and they would talk for an hour or two, reluctant to get off the phone. 

Blaine talked to Kurt about almost everything. He finally opened up about the boxing, and he talked about his classes, weight training, and funny stories from the garage. With Blaine taking classes now too, Kurt mentioned more about his classes and student life. Blaine always tried to obliquely ask about boyfriends or the like, but Kurt always claimed he didn't have time for that kind of thing. Blaine didn't know if he believed him, but it was reassuring to hear. He still fantasized about Kurt and he living the high life in New York City some day. He knew they were unrealistic dreams, but he yearned too much not to indulge in them.

As April was drawing to a close and spring was finally blooming, Blaine felt good about what his life included and where it was heading. It was a new feeling, not one he had had before, and it was refreshing. So it was with a light heart that he walked to work one day late in the month. It was Friday, which meant he got to talk to Kurt tonight, and he was pleasantly sore from a good work out in the gym the night before.

He was a little surprised that Burt's truck was already there, but he shrugged it off. After putting on his coverall, Blaine started washing the finished cars, as he usually did first thing. He was happily humming along to the radio, when Burt asked, "Blaine, can you come into the office?"

Blaine looked at Burt in surprise and a little worry, but Burt's face didn't offer any clue as to his thoughts. Trying to not let his worry show, Blaine said, "Sure," and put down his sponge and wiped his hands. He followed Burt into the office, where Burt closed the door and Blaine's worry skyrocketed.

Unable to hold his tongue, Blaine asked, "What's up?"

Burt countered with his own question. "What's going on with you and Kurt?"

Blaine blinked first. "Going on? I don't know what you mean."

"I had an interesting call with Kurt last night. Apparently he plans on coming home this summer and subletting his New York apartment to his friend Rachel. He says he’s looking forward to saving money and seeing his family."

Surprised, Blaine couldn't hold back his smile. "Kurt's coming here for the summer?"

Burt was scrutinizing him closely. Confused, Blaine flushed under the attention. Burt asked, "You didn't know about this?"

"What? No, he didn’t say anything."

"Because Kurt and I are close, I know he had no intention of coming back to Ohio before you came into the picture."

Suddenly Blaine twigged onto Burt’s issue. He didn’t want Kurt doing anything, being anything with Blaine. It hurt to know that Burt still thought so little of him; Blaine thought he and Burt were getting along pretty well now. Burt should know Blaine wouldn’t force his intentions on Kurt. He was unable to keep the bite from his tone when he said, “Don’t worry. I know nothing can happen between Kurt and me. I know where I belong.”

Burt looked contrite, but resolute. “It’s just that Kurt is so young.”

“Can I go?” Blaine didn’t mention he was younger than Kurt; he was over having his unworthiness shoved in his face. Burt nodded and Blaine went back to washing cars, trying to block the conversation from his mind.

The day dragged after that. Burt tried to be jovial, but it was forced, and Blaine just ignored him. Joe took one look between the two of them and turned up the radio to mask the tension. Blaine could have kissed him.

Even though it wasn’t his normal routine, Blaine texted Charity that he was going to the gym after work and to not expect him home for dinner. Talking to Kurt could wait until he wasn’t spitting nails with every word.

Finally able to leave work, Blaine ran to the gym. Even with the run, he felt like tension was leaking out of every pore. He changed and wrapped his hands, knowing from the start he would be heading to the heavy bag today. The first punch felt like heaven as it reverberated up his arm. He quickly fell into a rapid rhythm, and with each punch he thought of all the ways he tried, but was failing to be anything other than some stupid whore.

Time seemed to fall away after that. Blaine kept hitting and hitting that bag, losing himself in his anger until someone grabbed him around the waist and pulled him back. He wanted to fight them, but his arms dropped to his sides like lead and he only managed the weakest struggles. It was then that sound came rushing back and he heard Roger saying, “Blaine, what the fuck?”

Blaine was panting too hard to answer. He went limp in Roger’s arms knowing there was no way to overpower him and not wanting to anymore, anyway. He was covered in sweat, it was trickling down his face and chest, and he wanted to lift his hands to wipe his face, but his arms still refused to follow commands. He let Roger hustle him into the locker room.

Roger roughly settled him onto a bench and said, “Let me look at your hands.”

Blaine looked down along with Roger and finally noticed his hands were bruised and bleeding around the edges of his tape. He hissed as Roger began unwrapping his hands and Roger snorted at him. “It’s your own damn fault. What were you thinking?”

“I wasn’t.” It was the most honest thing Blaine had said all day.

“No shit, Sherlock.” Despite Roger’s tone, his hands were gentle as he cleaned and put Band-Aids on Blaine’s hands. As the adrenaline left Blaine’s system, he began shaking, and he slumped down on the bench. Roger gave him another look and went to a locker and got a hoodie, which he started threading Blaine’s head and arms through. He said, “You’re going to want to take a couple days off; give yourself time to recover. This was a stupid move. You’re usually better than this. What’s up?”

Debating, Blaine looked into Roger’s face. He saw only concern there, and could see in Roger’s eyes that the offer to talk was genuine. When they were training Blaine and Roger didn’t say much about their personal lives beyond the minimum, but Blaine liked Roger and liked training with him. 

He took a breath and tried to sort out his thoughts. “I’m tired of being judged and found wanting all the time. Today it just hit me head-on. Someone I’ve grown to respect, someone who I thought respected me, at least a little, just… I _know_ I’m not good enough, shouldn’t that be enough? Do I have to have it thrown in my face too?” And here Blaine ran out of words. Describing Burt’s actions would reveal more than he was comfortable saying, but at the same time, he needed to get it out. The feelings that he thought he had punched out were choking him again.

“Kid, whoever said you weren’t good enough was a fucking moron.”

Shaking his head, Blaine said, “You don’t know everything.”

“I know enough. And I know from good enough and not good enough.”

Blaine shook his head again and pursed his lips together to keep the rebuttal inside.

Roger sighed. “I never did tell you how I started boxing.” Pausing, he settled down on the bench next to Blaine, not looking at him. Blaine didn’t say anything, but his curiosity was piqued. He had a feeling Roger’s story was important. Staring at his fists, Roger continued. “When I was twenty-five, I was reckless and arrogant. I thought nothing could touch me and I would live forever. I drove fast, hit first, and took no crap from anyone. 

“I was having a typical Saturday night, which means I was out drinking and hitting on women. Well, one of the women had a boyfriend who did not take kindly to my interest in his girl. Fighting was almost as good as fucking, so I wasn’t disappointed when he threw the first punch. We went at it and then I got a lucky shot in. He dropped like a stone. Unfortunately for me, his head cracked on the marble mantle over the fireplace in the joint.”

Roger stopped there and Blaine had a premonition about where this story was going. Grimacing, Roger shot a quick flicker of a gaze at him. Blaine started to say, “Roger--,” but Roger interrupted him. 

“He died on the way to the hospital. His brain swelled or something, cutting off his blood flow and oxygen. I didn’t fight it when the District Attorney charged me with manslaughter. Hell, I even agreed with it. Maybe, if I had had more than an overworked public defender, things would have gone differently, but wishes and horses, so I went down for seven years. The judge said she was being lenient. I didn’t realize until I got to prison that there is no lenient prison time. It’s all hell on earth.

“There’s not much to do in prison beside work out and fight, which is how I got on this path.” He waved a hand around indicating the locker room and gym.

“But that isn’t the point, really. I’ve met guys who would slit their own mother’s throat for a hit, let alone beat the crap out of you for no reason at all. We’ve been working together for a couple weeks now and you have been nothing but courteous and hard-working. You’re a good kid, Blaine. Don’t believe anyone who says different.”

Roger’s regard felt like a heavy weight on Blaine’s shoulders and he felt breathless at his confession. Swallowing thickly, feeling a bit braver, he asked, “How do you live with it?”

“That’s the kicker, huh?” Roger nodded, almost to himself. “I can’t make it right; all I can do is try to live the rest of my life giving back.”

Whispering, Blaine said, “I ran away from home a couple years ago. I was hooking in New York before someone helped me get out. It was my boss’ son and he put me on a bus back to Ohio, making his Dad hire me. I thought my boss and I were getting along now, that we were past him judging me and finding me wanting, but then today he warned me away from his son.”

“What do you mean, away?”

“Kurt’s gay.” Blaine took a big breath. “I’m gay too. Apparently Kurt decided to come home for the summer and his Dad thinks it’s because of me. He’s worried that Kurt might like me.” Blaine knew he should look Roger in the eye, but he was too scared.

Roger coughed a little uncomfortably, but in a solid voice, he said, “Well, that’s a shitty thing to do.”

Blaine looked up and he could see from Roger’s expression that he was on Blaine’s side. Still, he clarified, “No, that’s not what got me. He should have known by now that I wouldn’t force myself on Kurt.”

“It’s not force if Kurt is interested in you too.”

“I’m not good enough for Kurt. I know that. Burt should have known I knew that too.”

Roger turned fiercely to him then and pointed his finger at Blaine. “Whoever this Kurt is, he is not too good for you, you hear? Big deal you fell on hard times when you were a kid. It’s who you are now and who you mean to be that are important.”

Blaine shook his head. “You can’t just wave a wand and shove my past under the rug. You know what it’s like.”

“I do. You didn’t hurt anyone and you survived. And what I know is that it’s made you who you are. Who is a hell of a better person than I was at your age. You got tempered by fire, kid. You’re stronger and better for it, not worse.”

Blaine wanted to argue; he knew how he felt and it certainly wasn’t better than anyone else, but Roger’s argument was making his thoughts and feelings all muddled. He was left shaking his head mutely. 

Roger nodded at him. “All right. I understand. Some things you have to learn for yourself. Still, I want you to think about it, okay? And worse comes to worse, you can find another job. You don’t have to work for that asshole.”

“He’s not an asshole. Most of the time.”

Roger just gave him a look and Blaine sighed. Roger straightened his shoulders. “It’s past time you were heading home.”

“Yeah. My sister must be worried. Thanks for, you know, everything.”

Clapping Blaine gently on the back, Roger stood up. “No problem. And talk next time; don’t trash your hands on the heavy bag.”

With a small smile Blaine said, “Will do.”

* * *

It wasn’t intentional, but Blaine got home too late to call Kurt and they only managed a short phone call on Saturday because Kurt was studying for finals. Kurt did mention he was coming back to Ohio, but all Blaine managed to choke out was a lukewarm, “That’s great.” Kurt seemed nonplussed, but Blaine didn’t want to get into it with him. He never wanted to get into it with him.

Blaine had thought the scant weeks until Kurt arrived would drag and be full of tension, but when Charity told him that Jim, the paramedic who had helped them move, had asked her out, all thoughts of Kurt’s impending arrival left his head.

Blaine didn’t have to pretend to be happy for her. He had met Jim, Carlos, and Sara each a couple of times since they had helped him and Charity move, and they were all good people. Jim especially was perceptive and caring. He actually made Blaine a little uncomfortable at times, not because he wasn’t a good guy, but because he seemed to see right through Blaine’s half-truths. 

Charity had admitted that Sara knew the whole story, but Carlos and Jim just knew Blaine had been through a rough time and how awful things had been with their parents when they were younger. Blaine suspected Jim had figured out a lot more. Still, Jim treated him with respect and courtesy, no matter Blaine’s suspicions.

That week Charity and Jim were working off-shifts, so they both had Wednesday and Thursday off and Charity’s classes were over for the summer. They agreed to go out Wednesday night to a movie and dinner. Blaine considered it a boon that he had time to see Charity off before he would have to leave for his GED class, which would continue until August.

Charity was on pins and needles; no matter how often Blaine told her Jim had been interested in her for quite a while. She just replied, “Being friends isn’t the same as being in a relationship,” and he had no rebuttal for that. Still, even with his nonexistent relationship experience, he had to agree with her. That was what made the situation with Kurt so fraught. So, instead, he stopped her pacing and pulled her into a hug. 

She clung to him in return. “Have I mentioned lately how glad I am that you’re here?”

Blaine tightened his hug and then let go. “I’m still the lucky one.”

They smiled at each other, but the moment was broken by a knock on the door. Charity looked at it in panic and then said, “Answer that, will you? I need to double-check my hair.” She then ran to the bathroom. Blaine figured her hair was fine; she was just going to hyperventilate for a few moments. He chuckled lightly at her nerves. 

Blaine had grown accustomed to Jim and Carlos, as well as Burt and Joe and the guys at the gym. He felt more comfortable in their presence now that he had some experience seeing them as people and not as potential johns to be scammed or solicited. So when he answered the door and saw the small bouquet in Jim’s hand, Blaine felt confident enough to smirk. Jim said, “Shut it. You know she’ll love it.”

“I didn’t say a thing.”

Blaine waved Jim into the apartment as Jim said, “It was written all over your face, kid.”

Jim looked around and knowing what he was thinking, Blaine said, “She’s doing those last minute things that I suspect all girls do.”

“I would think a good-looking guy like you would know.” It was said nonchalantly, but Blaine could see that Jim was fishing.

Cautiously he replied, “Girls really aren’t my thing.” He watched Jim’s face closely for some condemnation, but all he saw was pleased confirmation. So Jim had guessed that part at least.

“I guess guys really are easier.”

It was said off-handedly, but Blaine still felt his face freeze into blankness. His mind flashing to some of his more violent johns, “easy” wouldn’t be the word that Blaine would use. In a flat, discouraging voice, he said, “I guess.”

Blaine could see that Jim was confused, but luckily Charity appeared just then and that conversation was dropped as she accepted the flowers with a beaming smile. Relaxing in the face of Charity’s happiness, Blaine wished them a good night and saw them off. 

He went to his GED class, learning about fractions which seemed pretty basic, but Blaine had actually been a good student before he ran away from home so a lot of the class was just a refresher. After a small snack, he went to his room to listen to music. He figured Charity and Jim would like some alone time after their date and wouldn’t want him hogging the TV in the living room.

When they got back, Charity asked Blaine if he wanted to join them in watching David Letterman, something he and Charity watched together most nights, but he demurred with an understanding smile. Charity tried to tell him he would be welcome, but Blaine just said, “I know, but you guys deserve some time alone together. I’ll probably turn in early anyway.”

Charity said, “Okay, if you’re sure,” and at Blaine’s nod went to the living room where the opening music was starting. Blaine lay in bed listening to their laughter and the murmur of conversation that was too light to be understood. They sounded flirty and happy, though. He fell asleep yearning for what Charity and Jim had and thinking about what Roger had said. He still felt unworthy of anyone’s love, but maybe that wasn’t the point. A lot of unworthy people weren’t alone. Look at Charity’s ex-boyfriends like Mark. They hadn’t deserved her, but they’d had her. Maybe one didn’t get what one deserved but what one reached for.

The next day, Blaine was still contemplative. Lost in his thoughts, work had less tension than there had been earlier in the week. What Burt had said was tied in knots with Blaine’s own thoughts and Roger’s story, but the pain wasn’t as sharp and his belief in the truth of Burt’s words was shaken. Blaine was looking at the people around him with new eyes.

After work, he went to the gym as usual. Roger waved from where he was leaning against the boxing ring ropes watching a sparring match and Blaine smiled back with a wave of his own. Thursdays he usually just worked out with maybe a little routine on the speedball. He was glad it didn’t usually take long. He wanted to get home to Charity to find out all the details of her date, but his training was important to him, so he stuck to it. Plus it helped him think.

Still, for once, he rushed home afterwards and got there about six thirty instead of his usual seven. From what he could tell by the smell, dinner was still cooking, and Charity looked surprised to see him. He said, “I wanted to hear about your date.”

Nodding, Charity said, “Well you timed it perfectly because we have about an hour until dinner and Jim is coming to join us too.”

“So I’m guessing it went well?”

Clasping her hands and beaming at Blaine, Charity replied, “Oh, Blaine, it went so well.”

“Tell me already!”

Charity laughed as he knew she would. “First off, he took me to dinner at Maggiano’s, that new Italian restaurant over on Fifth. It was so romantic. Nobody has ever taken me someplace that nice before.”

Blaine hugged her fiercely. “You deserve the best. Always believe that.”

Clinging to him, Charity said, “You too. Please remember, you too.”

After all his thinking, Blaine could honestly say, “I’m trying.”

Charity nodded and hugged tighter for a second. Then they separated and she told him about the movie and their easy conversation in the car and afterward when Jim came in to watch TV with Charity. Charity admitted she never wanted the date to end, and Blaine hugged her again before she looked at the time and laughingly told him to hurry and set the table.

Jim arrived right on time, which was typical for him and illustrated one of the things Blaine liked the most about him. Jim treated other people with respect and courtesy; He was punctual, polite, and dedicated. Blaine hoped desperately that he remained that way, for Charity’s sake, but he knew more than most that people’s public face often had little to do with their private one.

The dinner conversation flowed easily, mostly funny work stories from the hospital or the garage, although it took a turn for the serious when Charity said, “I’m so glad you enjoy your job at the garage.”

Blaine shrugged and thought about the recent awkwardness of working for Kurt’s Dad. He also thought about the dirt, grime, and isolation of working in the garage back room all day. “It’s good and I’m thankful for it, but I’m not sure I want to do it forever. I don’t really see myself as a mechanic. I’d much rather help people.”

Jim said, “You should consider the health sciences like your sister, then. You also seem collected enough to be a paramedic like me, unless you get queasy around bodily fluids.” Jim smiled teasingly at him.

Snorting, thinking of the grosser parts of living on the streets, Blaine said, “There isn’t much that gets to me nowadays, although the smells of piss and vomit will never be favorites of mine.”

Jim gave him a penetrating look, and Blaine wondered if he had said too much, even though Jim didn’t look disgusted, more like he was putting the puzzle pieces together.

Charity offered to show him around the hospital and Blaine said he would think about it. The conversation turned to their various school endeavors, since even Jim was taking refresher courses required for his continued education certificate, and Blaine was glad the focus moved off of him.

After dinner, Blaine offered to do the dishes since Charity had cooked and he wanted to give them time alone. This was thwarted by Jim offering to help Blaine while Charity set up the DVD player for the movie Jim had bought over. As he and Jim cleared the table, Blaine could see Jim shooting him probing looks. As they loaded the dishwasher, Blaine finally asked, “What?”

Jim took a breath and said, “Charity hasn’t shared your past with me, but I kind of figured out that you were living on your own before now. I want you to know that you can depend on more than just Charity here, and I know Sara and Carlos would say the same thing if they knew. I was serious about helping you become a paramedic, for one, if you’re interested.

Blaine kept his head down at first as he tried to get his face under control. Finally he felt contained enough to look Jim in the eye and say, “Thanks.” He felt his expression cracking, so he looked back down and resumed loading the dishwasher. 

Thoughts were racing through Blaine’s head. He had a feeling that Jim had guessed the whole truth of his living on the streets and hooking, but was being kind by not mentioning it. Jim didn’t say anything more, just finished filling his side of the dishwasher. As he left the kitchen to join Charity, he put his hand on Blaine’s shoulder and squeezed lightly. It was fleeting enough and telegraphed enough that Blaine didn’t freeze up, but it was still kind of weird to Blaine. He hadn’t had so many people in his corner in a long time, if ever.

* * *

The Thursday Kurt arrived home came much too soon for Blaine. He was looking forward to seeing him, but things were still tense with Burt, and he was worried that Kurt's presence would ignite the situation. He didn't even have his GED yet. Getting another job would be nearly impossible, no matter what Roger thought. And that didn't even touch on how uncomfortable spending time with Kurt would be while Burt disapproved. Blaine didn't know if their friendship could survive that. He knew how much Kurt looked up to his Dad.

Still, when Burt and Kurt pulled into the garage on their way home from the bus station, he plastered a smile on his face and hoped for the best. Kurt hopped out of Burt’s truck with a huge smile and Blaine was struck again by how beautiful he was. He looked radiant, which was amazing since he must have just gotten off the bus. When Blaine had gotten off the bus, he had felt like death warmed over. 

Kurt ran up to him and threw his arms around him; it was all Blaine could do to remain on his feet. Laughing, he hugged Kurt back just as tightly, not knowing when Kurt would be in his arms again and wanting to savor it. He could see Burt hovering uncomfortably out of the corner of his eye.

Kurt pulled back, and the first words out of his mouth were, “Your hair!” 

This reminded Blaine of Charity’s reaction and he laughed. Reaching up, Kurt almost touched Blaine’s slight pompadour in front, but instead he blushed and continued, “Not that it isn’t attractive; you just look so different.”

“It’s okay. Charity had the same reaction.”

Kurt beamed at him. “I can’t wait to meet her.”

“I’m sure we’ll have you over for dinner or something.”

Before Kurt could respond, Burt said, “All right, Kurt, let’s get you home and we’ll let Blaine get back to work.”

Kurt’s face fell, but after a look from his Dad, he softened his gaze and said, “I’ll call you later?”

Blaine said, “That would be great.” He peeked at Burt, but Burt was frowning at Kurt and didn’t notice. Blaine sighed. This was probably going to turn into a mess, but he didn’t know what to do about it. Burt was his boss and Kurt’s Dad, but there was no containing Kurt and his will. Blaine got the feeling that what Kurt wanted, Kurt got. Blaine just wasn’t sure that what Kurt wanted would be good for him this time.

Blaine got through the day without talking to Burt, although that was probably more because Burt seemed to be avoiding him than anything Blaine did. He went to the gym as usual and even had one of his better workouts. He avoided the heavy bag, but used the speedball and managed a long run of steady jabs that he would not have been able to sustain back when he started. Roger even complimented him on his form.

When he got home, Charity was already there and had dinner ready. Charity was also eager to meet Kurt, so Blaine had to promise to invite him over at the first opportunity. As they were cleaning up, the house phone rang and Blaine figured it was probably Kurt. Jim usually called Charity’s cell phone.

He was right and before he could get out more than hello, Kurt was talking a mile a minute about his trip home and how awful the bus was. Once Kurt ran out of steam, Blaine said, “I told you the bus sucks.”

“I know you said it was long, but I wasn’t expecting the smells and the crying children.”

“I lucked out. There weren’t any babies on my trip.”

“You really did. I had three and when one shut up, the other two started. But enough of my bitching. What are you doing tonight?”

“Just hanging out with Charity, watching TV.”

“Want some company?”

“Sure. Charity is eager to meet you anyway.” Blaine was tempted to ask if Burt knew Kurt planned on visiting him, but kept his mouth shut on the topic. It wasn’t his place to get in the middle of their relationship.

Sounding excited and happy, Kurt replied, “I can’t wait to meet her too.”

“So come on over and we’ll hang.”

“Great! I’ll be there in a little bit.”

They hung up the phone and Blaine called to Charity that Kurt was coming over as he started stacking the dishwasher. Sounding just as excited as Kurt, Charity replied that she was thrilled.

Kurt arrived about half an hour later; Blaine knew that Burt’s house wasn’t too far from the garage, but in the other direction. As soon as Blaine opened the door he was engulfed in another hug. This time he let himself enjoy it unabashedly; not having to worry about Burt’s disapproving eyes. Kurt had a musky scent, except his hair which was slightly herbal. Blaine remembered from Kurt’s bathroom that he used some fancy organic shampoo and the unique smell brought him back to those weeks at Kurt’s apartment. He hugged back tightly, immersing himself in the sensations. 

Finally, they broke apart and Kurt was smiling happily at him again. It was impossible for Blaine’s worries to seem real in the face of Kurt’s excitement, but he reminded himself that he shouldn’t get so caught up. Shaking off his thoughts, he led Kurt into the apartment and said, “Kurt, this is Charity.”

Oblivious to his concerns, Kurt and Charity squealed at each other and hugged tightly. They were both babbling about how great it was to finally meet each other and how good Blaine looked. Blaine blushed and shifted on his feet. He was reminded again that he had people in his corner now.

The three of them settled on the couch, Blaine in the middle, and argued over what TV show to watch. They finally settled on The Vampire Diaries with both Kurt and Charity comparing Blaine with his slicked hair unfavorably to Ian Somerhalder. Blaine pretended to be offended, but secretly he was glad Kurt and Charity were hitting it off enough to make fun of him and his haircut. 

Having an early shift the next day, Charity left them alone and went to bed soon after the show ended. Kurt gave her another hug and Charity looked like she was going to cry, she was so happy. Blaine had to turn away from them for a moment to collect his own emotions. Charity always said how much it meant to her to have Blaine back in her life, but to see it raw on her face almost made Blaine tear up too. Kurt sat back down on the couch, turned towards Blaine. He took one of Blaine’s hands in his and began playing with Blaine’s fingers. Blaine lowered the sound on the TV as Kurt asked, “So you’re happy, right?”

Kurt looked serious but unsure, and like there was more he wanted to ask, but was afraid to. Blaine replied, “Hey. Hey. I am.” He turned his hand so he could grip Kurt’s and squeezed tightly.

They sat there holding hands for a couple of minutes before Kurt heaved a big sigh. “I just worry. Ohio wasn’t good to either of us and I was afraid I had done the wrong thing sending you away.”

“You didn’t send me away, you sent me to Charity.”

A smile bloomed on Kurt’s face. “She’s great. I’m glad you found her again.”

“Me too. She’s been tremendous. So you don’t have to worry. Which sort of reminds me, I can pay you back for the clinic bills and all your help now.”

Kurt shook his head. “Don’t worry about it.”

“But I do. I’ll feel better having paid you back.”

Sighing, Kurt relented. “If you’re sure it won’t set you back.”

Blaine smiled wide; relieved Kurt had given in, and said, “I promise.” 

After that the conversation flowed into a recap of the last couple weeks since they had been too busy for long phone calls. They also discussed Kurt’s plans for the summer, which included working in the office at the garage. Before Blaine knew it, it was coming on eleven and he and Kurt were saying good-bye in the doorway. 

This hug was no less intense than the one earlier. Blaine closed his eyes and held tight, but he didn’t feel uncomfortable because Kurt was holding on just as fiercely. Finally, Kurt pulled back and for a second Blaine thought Kurt was going to kiss him and he panicked. He figured some of his emotions showed on his face, because Kurt dropped his gaze to the floor and stepped back with an awkward wave instead. Now leaving the apartment, Kurt looked uncomfortable. Not wanting their time to end like that, Blaine said, “See you later.”

Kurt smiled softly at him and said, “You know it.”

* * *

Over the next week and a half, excepting school nights, Blaine and Kurt spent the evenings together after Blaine went to the gym and Kurt had dinner with his family. Kurt didn’t try to kiss him again, even though they grew closer. Blaine was relieved, but also disappointed. It was weird how well Kurt slotted into his current life. Blaine was caught between his visceral feelings about his worthlessness and his intellectual understanding of what Kurt, Charity, and Roger had all told him.

He felt like he was on the precipice of something, but didn’t know which way things would fall. Everything felt precarious and like they would change before he was ready. Mostly because he thought he would never be ready for the changes on the horizon.

Blaine was pondering all this one Saturday night when Kurt and him were lounging in Blaine’s room listening to the Wicked soundtrack. He was lying on the bed, while Kurt was sitting on the floor with his head thrown back on the mattress next to Blaine’s hip. Kurt had been acting off all night and Blaine suspected that his time was up. He knew it when the CD ended and in the quiet Kurt turned to him and said, “We’ve always been honest with each other, right?”

Sitting up and crossing his legs so that he could look into Kurt’s upturned face, he could clearly see Kurt’s sincere expression. There were things he had never told Kurt, but there was only his age he had actively lied about, and he had come clean about that back when he first moved to Ohio. So he guessed it was true enough. Blaine cautiously replied, “I think so.” 

“I know you’ve been avoiding talking with me, but I don’t want that.”

Blaine decided not to play dumb. “I just don’t think we can agree about it.”

“You’re not even giving me a chance.”

“Because you can do so much better.”

Kurt climbed up onto the bed and sat cross-legged in front of Blaine, mirroring his position. He took Blaine’s hands in his. “First off, that isn’t for you to decide, that’s my decision. Secondly, you’re not giving yourself enough credit.”

“I know what I am.”

“You know what you were, not who you are now.”

“I’m still the same person that did all those things.”

With a thoughtful look, Kurt replied, “Actually, you’re not.”

“What?”

“Your skin and tissues have regenerated in the past couple of months. The physical person you were in January no longer exists. Those molecules have been released back into the world. You are entirely new now.”

Blaine knew Kurt would argue, but that response was out of left field. He was left floundering and all he could come up with in reply was, “That’s not a real argument.”

“I’m serious.”

“It doesn’t matter. I feel the same.”

“It does matter. You think you are contaminating me and I’m saying there is literally nothing left of your old life that can touch me. You’re free of it; you just need to believe it now.”

Blaine had no answer for Kurt. He felt a little stunned by how easily Kurt had turned the tables on him. He tried to dredge up some counter-argument, but even his STD results had all been negative at his last check-up, which was the only thing he could think of to deter Kurt. Instead, he asked, “How do you know this stuff?”

“I care about my skin and body. I researched it.”

“See, given that, I don’t know how you can want to be with me.”

“Blaine, I will say this as often as you need to hear it- you’re worth it. You matter.”

Blaine could feel tears forming and he quickly ducked his head. Kurt reached for his face and held his jaw, keeping Blaine turned towards him. He said, “No, don’t hide. You have nothing to be ashamed of. I love you, all of you, past and present.”

Floored by that, Blaine whispered, “How can you say that?” For Kurt to be in love with him felt like all his dreams coming true, but that also made it feel all the more unreal. Amazing things like having his love returned didn’t happen to Blaine. Kurt was so precious to him and to know Kurt felt the same was overwhelming.

“Because it’s true. You survived and remained a decent person. That makes you special, not less.”

“Sure, I survived, but at what cost? You’re twisting everything around.”

“I’m not twisting it, you are. You’re looking in a funhouse mirror backwards at yourself, and not seeing your true reflection. Let go of the past and see your future. That is what will show you who you really are.”

Kurt held onto his face and watched Blaine, almost like he was willing his thoughts into Blaine’s mind. Blaine’s heart was beating rapid-fire and he felt like he was in fight or flight mode. In the back of his mind he knew he was overreacting, but he didn’t know how to make his feelings behave.

He wanted to go to the gym and pound on the heavy bag until this all made sense. He feared that it would never make sense again, though. Not the way it had all slotted together in his mind in the past; Kurt on the good side of the fence while Blaine remained on the other side with the worthless trash. He was being persuaded by Kurt’s arguments, was beginning to think he did matter, but that scared him much more than the comfort of his old worldview. If he mattered, then how had everyone failed him so thoroughly before?

At that thought, the tears finally broke free and started streaming down his face. Pulling him into a tight hug, Kurt said, “Oh god, Blaine. It’ll be all right, I promise.” Blaine hung on to Kurt tightly. He felt out of control and overwhelmed and like Kurt was the only solid and stable thing in his life.

Taking deep breaths to gain control, Blaine loosened his hold. Kurt pulled back to look him in the face and quietly asked, “Okay?”

Nodding, Blaine bit his lip. He said, “Yeah. I need to think about things, though.”

A breathtaking smile bloomed on Kurt’s face. “Take all the time you need.”

“You need to think about it too, particularly your Dad.”

Kurt’s expression froze and then hardened. “What did he say to you?”

“It doesn’t matter, what matters is that you don’t ruin your relationship with him, particularly for me. Promise me you won’t do that.” 

“It does matter! He’s wrong about you. You have to believe me.” Kurt squeezed his hands.

“Like I said, I need to think about it but I know I don’t want to come between you and your Dad.”

“Don’t worry about that. I’ll talk to him.” Kurt said this in a flat and determined voice and Blaine sighed. He knew there was no real way to convince Kurt that Burt wouldn’t listen, but he had tried. And at least this way, Kurt had agreed to talk to his Dad. Blaine could defer another conversation until that happened and have the time to think about what Kurt had said, particularly about his being in love with Blaine.

* * *

Monday morning Kurt and Burt arrived at the garage with a squeal of tires and slammed doors. Blaine sighed and ducked into the break room to avoid them as soon as possible. He could tell the conversation had not gone how either Kurt or Burt had wanted it to, but he wasn’t surprised. He hadn’t thought Burt would just roll over and give up that easily because Kurt’s wellbeing was involved. Contrast his stubbornness with Kurt’s force of nature personality and it didn’t bode well.

Work was tense because of Kurt and Burt’s cold war, but luckily Burt didn’t seem to blame Blaine. Blaine was actually more surprised by that than anything. He had expected dark looks and maybe losing his job, but Burt was completely focused on Kurt. He actually acted like the issue didn’t involve Blaine at all.

Nevertheless, Blaine was still happy to leave once five o’clock rolled around. He got a text saying that his GED class was cancelled for that night since his professor was sick, which made him happy. He could now go to the gym and work off some of his tension from the day.

He waved good-bye to Kurt, but didn’t mention the change in his plans. He knew Kurt would want to get together, but Blaine thought a little time apart would be good right now. It would give Blaine time to reflect on what Kurt had said and what it means that he loved Blaine.

Once at the gym, Blaine changed and started his workout routine. He waved to Max and Roger who were at the ring, but figured that would be it since he didn’t have an official lesson that day. Instead, just as Blaine was finishing his weightlifting and was pondering whether to go for the heavy bag or the speedball, Max called him over.

Max said, “Roger says you’ve come a long way.”

Standing straighter, Blaine replied, “Thanks. I’ve been trying.”

Roger interjected, “You’ve done more than try; you’re one of my best students.”

Blaine smiled at Roger and stood a little taller. 

Nodding, Max said, “Roger thinks you’re ready for some real boxing. How about it?”

“You mean now?” Giddiness swelled in Blaine’s chest and he wanted to bounce on his toes. He had been watching the other guys spar for months now; to actually get a chance of his own was huge.

“No time like the present and Angelo needs a sparring partner.” Max waved towards one of the heavy bags off to the left where a hefty, but short guy was working the bag.

“Yeah, I’m totally in.” Blaine was actually completely stoked. He grinned at Roger who clasped him on the shoulder and laughed at him.

Max called Angelo over while Roger talked through the rules and strategy with Blaine. He discussed Angelo’s weaknesses and strengths, and how best to spar with him. Blaine listened closely and nodded seriously. It suddenly hit him he was going to fight and during the last fight he was in, he hadn’t even gotten a chance to put up a defense, instead had gotten his ass kicked. He took some deep breaths to calm his heart and told himself that this was entirely different.

Roger fitted gloves on Blaine, tightening them. He also fitted him with a helmet and mouth guard. Max was doing the same for Angelo and Blaine wondered what Max was saying to Angelo about him. Whether he was telling him to take it easy because Blaine was new and a total lightweight or whether he was treating Blaine like a serious contender. Shrugging off his doubts, he guessed it didn’t really matter. Either way, Blaine was going to give it his best.

Climbing between the ropes and into the ring, sweat broke out across Blaine’s chest and face. He didn’t want to make a fool of himself, but even more, he wanted to feel strong and in control. Angelo climbed in on the other side and they bumped gloves in greeting. Max told them to go to their corners so he could ring the bell.

Once the bell rang, Angelo threw the first punch, but Blaine blocked it and found an opening for a right hook. This opened him up for a jab to the stomach and then they were throwing punches ruthlessly at each other. They danced and volleyed back and forth and in the back of his mind, Blaine thought he and Angelo were matched well. Blaine was glad to find that all his practicing allowed him to react automatically and he found he fought better when he didn’t over think his punches.

Of course being new, Blaine couldn’t stop from over thinking sometimes so it was no surprise when Angelo finally got Blaine trapped on the ropes. Blaine was glad when the bell rang a second time. Angelo stepped back and Blaine slumped a bit, before regrouping. He went back to his corner where Roger was waiting. Roger gripped his face and said, “You’re doing good. You have to watch out though. He’s got more practice controlling a fight than you do. Don’t let him push you around so much, okay?”

Blaine nodded and swallowed his water. “Yeah, yeah. I got it.”

The bell rang again and he was back in the fight. He tried to maneuver Angelo and fought him for control, but Angelo had more tricks in his bag and soon enough, Blaine was back on the defensive. He fought as hard as he could, but when the bell rang again, he was back against the ropes with his gloves up protecting his face.

Once the bell stopped ringing, Max said, “And the winner is Angelo. Great job, though, Blaine. Hit the showers.”

Blaine rested his arms on the top rope and panted. He felt fucking glorious, which was astounding since he had lost so badly. He couldn’t stop smiling though and he could see Roger out of the corner of his eye laughing at him. He suspected Roger knew what he was feeling though. Angelo came over and they bumped gloves. He said, “Good fight. Thanks.”

Blaine responded, “No, thank you.”

“First fight?”

“It showed, huh?”

“Not during the fight, but you’re much too happy about getting beaten.” Angelo grinned at him.

Blaine laughed and nodded. Angelo tapped his shoulder with his glove and then went over to Max who was calling for him. Blaine went over to his corner where Roger was waiting for him. Roger said, “You did good, kid.”

“I still let him control the fight.”

“Yeah, but you made him work for it. Sometimes that is the best you can do.”

Holding out his hands so Roger could pull off his gloves, Blaine said, “Thanks for speaking up for me. Today’s been shitty. This made it so much better.”

“More trouble with your boss?”

“Kind of, but not the way you’re thinking.”

Roger walked with him towards the locker room. “Yeah?”

“It turns out that Kurt does like me, but I said I wouldn’t get between him and his Dad. Kurt is working in the garage so it was tense all day as they gave each other the cold shoulder.”

“Sounds like this Kurt is a good guy. Someone needed to put your boss in his place.”

Blaine rolled his eyes. “You sound like Kurt.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment. You should bring him around; we can talk some sense into you.” Roger grinned and Blaine pushed his shoulder.

“I don’t think boxing is Kurt’s kind of thing, but maybe.”

Roger nodded. “Hit the showers and I’ll see you tomorrow, all right?”

“Sounds good.”

In the shower, Blaine thought about what Roger had said. Kurt and Roger probably would get along. They both thought they knew what was best for Blaine, but Blaine suspected it was like his fight with Angelo. They just had more advanced skills and he needed to step up his relationship game so it would be fair and evenly balanced. In this moment he actually felt like that was a possibility and he was happily surprised. Kurt had always been his savior, but maybe it was time for Blaine to be the same for Kurt. Making sure Kurt and his Dad remained on good terms was a good start.

* * *

By the end of the month, everyone at the garage was on edge and snapping at each other, even Joe and Blaine, although they apologized to each other when it happened. Kurt and Burt, on the other hand, were still in high dudgeon. Blaine was more thankful than ever that he was allowed to spar at the gym now. He needed the tension release. He tried to reason with Kurt, like he had pondered after his first sparring session, but Kurt was having none of it.

When July came, it was the same old thing initially. Kurt was complaining about his Dad and his attitude for the hundredth time, while they were eating lunch in the break room. Blaine tried again to reach Kurt. He was tired of Kurt rehashing the same arguments and he wanted Kurt to really think about what he was saying. Leaning forward, he said, “You shouldn’t talk about your Dad like that. He’s just trying to do what’s best for you.”

Obviously incensed, Kurt lightly hit the table and said, “But he’s wrong and he won’t admit it. I can’t believe you’re standing up for him.”

“Family is important. You told me that. He may be wrong this time, but how many times has he been right? Doesn’t his point deserve some consideration based on that?”

“You know it doesn’t! Not in this case. Not about you.”

Blaine squeezed Kurt’s hand. “Thank you. I haven’t told you how much your faith in me means, but it does mean the world to me. Still, I think you should work things out with your Dad first. It’s much more important than us.”

As Burt’s voice came from the doorway behind him, Blaine started and let go of Kurt’s hand. Twisting around, Blaine looked at Burt, embarrassed at being caught talking about him, but Burt didn’t look like he was angry. He almost looked reflective; Blaine didn’t know what it meant. Burt was saying, “Kurt, I’d like to talk to you. In the office, now,” and Blaine flinched. He didn’t sound angry, but that couldn’t be good.

Kurt harrumphed and followed his Dad out of the break room and into the office nearby. Blaine remained in the kitchen so that he wouldn’t be tempted to try and hear what they talked about. Hell, if it was anything like earlier in the week, he would be able to hear what they said anyway as they yelled at each other.

Weirdly, this time things remained quiet. By the time Blaine’s lunch hour was over and he left the break room a half an hour later, the office door was still closed and he could see Kurt and Burt talking intently through the glass-paned wall.

Shrugging at Joe who was also glancing at the office in awe, Blaine said, “The quiet is a little unsettling, huh?”

Scratching the back of his neck and leaving a smudge of grease there, Joe replied, “I never thought I would say it, but yup, it is.”

After one last wary glance, they went back to work, but they both jumped at every little sound as if waiting for a bomb to drop. When the quiet was broken, it wasn’t in any way Blaine was prepared for, though. The office door was thrown open and Kurt came running out. Blaine was working on a battery change, and he jumped and hit his head on the hood of the car at the bang of the office door on the wall. Biting off the “fuck” he wanted to say, gripping his head, he turned just in time to have an armful of Kurt.

Kurt was laughing and crying and repeating, “Oh my god! Blaine! He said yes!”

Stunned, all Blaine could get out was, “What?” He looked over Kurt’s shoulder to see Burt standing in the doorway of the office with a smile on his face. Then Kurt was kissing him and Blaine’s mind white-ed out. His knees went weak and he slumped back onto the bumper of the car. He wondered if he had hit his head harder than he thought and this was all a dream.

Then, just as suddenly, Kurt wasn’t kissing him anymore. Blaine stared at him, still too stunned for words. Kurt was frowning now and pulling back inch by inch. He asked, “I thought you wanted this?”

Blinking, trying to make sense of the past minute, Blaine replied honestly. “I have no idea what is going on.”

Burt spoke up then. “Kurt leave Blaine alone. Blaine, could I talk to you? In the office, please.”

Blaine looked at Kurt, who was now looking thoughtfully back at him. Burt coughed and attracted Blaine’s wavering attention. Burt was now by the office, holding the door open. Blaine shook his head and stood on his shaky knees. Luckily he didn’t collapse like a romance novel heroine as he made his way slowly to the office.

Slipping past Burt, Blaine gratefully sat in one of the chairs in front of the desk. Burt closed the door and then made his way to the other side of the desk. Not sitting down, he stood there, leaning his hands on the desk for a couple minutes. Blaine began wondering if Burt was also having a psychotic break.

Finally, Burt lifted his head and looked directly at Blaine. In a husky voice he said, “I owe you an apology. A big one.”

“What?” This stunned Blaine more than the kiss from Kurt.

“It’s taken me awhile to get my head on straight, I know. But I’m hoping you can forgive an old man for his prejudices.”

“I don’t… what?”

“I always wanted what was best for Kurt, you know that. When I figured out he was gay, I imagined some dashing young man who would sweep him off his feet and give him the life he wanted.”

“Of course. I want the best for him too. You have to believe me.”

“I know, son. That’s when I realized how wrong I was. Some slick Lothario isn’t good enough for Kurt. Only someone who saw how special and priceless Kurt was, would be good enough. Do you know what I’m saying?”

The puzzle pieces were tumbling in Blaine’s brain but he was afraid of the picture they made. He was being offered everything he dreamed of, but it was too much. He started shaking his head and said, “How can you change your mind like that?”

“It wasn’t just like that. You of all people should know that after this past month. But you stuck by your guns when Kurt’s well-being was at stake, despite Kurt’s best efforts to change your mind. And I know how persuasive Kurt can be. That impressed me and I started seeing past your history. Kurt isn’t always as right as he thinks he is, even though he was this time, and he needs someone to cherish him who will also stand up to him when it’s important.”

Stunned into silence, Blaine’s gaze was locked with Burt’s. Burt coughed and looked away first, but then he turned back, and with laser sharpness said, “You’re a good man, Blaine. I’m happy to have you working in my garage and in Kurt’s life.”

Luckily Burt didn’t wait for a response from Blaine, because Blaine was too boggled to answer with any coherency. Burt just walked around his desk and put a hand on Blaine’s shoulder. “Why don’t you and Kurt take the afternoon off and talk things over.”

Leaving Blaine still frozen to his seat, Burt opened the door and called Kurt over. They talked in low tones for a second and then Kurt was kneeling in front of Blaine. “Come on, let’s get you home.”

* * *

Blaine remembered nothing of the drive to his house or the walk to the apartment. He just suddenly came out of his mental confusion to find himself lying down in his bed with Kurt next to him. He turned towards Kurt, who was playing on his phone, and hoarsely asked, “Did that really happen?”

Kurt startled and dropped his phone. Ignoring where it had tumbled to the bedspread, he turned towards Blaine and slid down so they were face to face. “It did. You had me worried.”

“I’m sorry. I just never expected your Dad to change his mind. Nobody loves you more than he does and nobody wants better for you.”

Kurt brushed a stray hair out of Blaine’s face and smiled gently. “You give him a run for his money in that department. Also in the department of thinking you know better than I do.”

“I didn’t think Burt was wrong. If anyone should know…”

“Well, now you know better. I can pick my own boyfriends. That’s assuming, well--,” Kurt pulled his hand back slowly and a cautious look came across his features. “I realized I didn’t give you the chance to say no. I just assumed it was all right.”

Blaine choked up, but he forced the words out. “Kurt. You’re my dream. You’re everything I could want. I just didn’t think I deserved you.”

Kurt threw his arms around Blaine and held him tight. Fiercely he said, “You do deserve me. I promise. I’m the lucky one.” Slowly, almost unable to believe he was allowed, Blaine lifted his arms to wrap them around Kurt and hug back.

After a few moments, they both pulled back with soft smiles. Feeling brave and wanting to test the waters, Blaine leaned forward and gave Kurt a small, chaste kiss. It felt wonderful and sweet. Kurt kissed back and Blaine smiled against his mouth.

As Blaine leaned back, Kurt’s expression changed to a more serious one and Blaine wondered what was up. Kurt said, “I know you know, but maybe you don’t remember. Anyway, I just wanted to ask if it was all right if we take things slow. I know we only have the summer together right now and it’s half over thanks to my Dad, but I haven’t, well, you know what I haven’t done and I’m not sure I’m ready for well, you know.”

Blaine blinked and collected his thoughts. “Kurt, everything I’ve done has been because someone paid me to do it. I’ve never been anyone’s boyfriend or just fooled around for fun, even. Going slow won’t be a problem for me.”

“What about your friends, Wes and David, weren’t they?”

“Yeah, that’s them. But they’re both straight. We were just friends.”

“I thought they went with a client?”

“They did. But again, they aren’t being paid to be gay; they’re being paid to let someone do what they want. It’s different.”

“It’s sad and wrong.” Kurt looked upset, but Blaine didn’t know how to say it any better. He shrugged. It was the way it was. Not even Kurt could change the world; it was a miracle he could change Blaine’s life the way he had.

“Do you want me to look for them?”

“I don’t know how you would find them. I just knew the guy’s first name and that he lived on the Upper West Side.”

“I just don’t want you to worry about them. I know they were important to you.”

“Yeah, but they got out. Maybe not as well as I did, but they’re doing better than living in a squat in Alphabet City; I’m sure of it.” Blaine had to believe it or he would be up nights wondering.

“If you’re sure.”

“I am, but thanks.”

Kurt smiled but then it faded. Hesitantly, but looking right at Blaine, he asked, “So am I?”

“What?”

“Am I your boyfriend now?”

Blaine reached out and put his hand over Kurt’s heart. “Of course. If you’ll have me.”

Smiling sunnily now, Kurt brushed another kiss across Blaine’s lips and then a string of them. Blaine let his eyes flutter shut to better remember the feel of Kurt’s lips on his. He remembered Kurt saying he wanted to save his first kiss for someone special. He wondered if Kurt had saved it for him or if there had been someone else over the spring. He didn’t ask, but he hoped. He felt like Kurt was his first real kiss at any rate. He had kissed johns before when they wanted that, but it had only happened a half a dozen times. Most johns didn’t care for the intimacy; they just wanted to get their rocks off. Kurt was the first person who he had kissed because he wanted to.

During the next kiss from Kurt, Blaine opened his mouth so he could suck Kurt’s bottom lip lightly. Kurt, always a quick learner, followed Blaine’s lead and then they were exchanging heated, open-mouthed kisses and Kurt was leaning heavily on Blaine. Lifting his arms to wind them around Kurt, Blaine let one of his hands wander over Kurt’s shoulders, and settled the other on his neck so he could feel Kurt’s soft skin as his jaw moved.

They made out for long minutes until Kurt suddenly rolled away with a deep breath so that they were now lying next to each other. Blaine pulled his hands back just in time to avoid them getting trapped, and with his eyes still closed groped for Kurt’s hand to hold. Finding it, he held on tight with a little squeeze, that Kurt returned. He could tell that Kurt was as turned on as he was and he guessed that this was Kurt’s way of keeping the going slow.

Kurt asked, “Mind if we go watch some TV? I’m feeling a bit over-heated.”

Blaine felt giddy that he and Kurt could have this now. No matter how slow or fast they went, Blaine would enjoy every second of intimacy with Kurt. He replied, “Whatever you want.”

Standing up, Kurt held out a hand to help Blaine up. “You don’t mind, right?” Kurt was biting his lip and looked nervous and uncomfortable.

Blaine never wanted to see him that way. Still holding one of Kurt’s hands, Blaine lifted his other hand to trace Kurt’s eyebrow gently. “I never mind spending time with you. No matter what we do.”

Blushing lightly, Kurt finally smiled. “So, cuddling on the couch?”

“It would be my pleasure.” Blaine pressed a light kiss to Kurt’s warm cheek and led the way to the living room.

* * *

Life settled into a new pattern over the next couple of weeks. After work, Blaine still had his GED classes on Monday and Wednesdays, at least for another couple weeks, and his boxing lessons on Tuesdays, but the rest of the week was free and spent with Kurt. He switched to doing his workouts in the early morning before work so that he would have more time to laze about with Kurt in the evenings.

It was glorious and scary. Blaine felt out of his depth, but Kurt was worth every moment together. He still struggled with his feelings of inadequacy but Kurt was always up for countering them. He had a whole arsenal of rebuttals at his disposal. He was much more articulate than Blaine and always had an answer for Blaine’s hazy feelings of doubt. 

It was trickier dealing with Kurt’s intimacy issues. It soon became obvious that although Kurt professed that he wanted to be physically closer to Blaine, he was scared of it. Blaine had agreed to take it slow, but it felt like they were going backwards some days. Blaine would swear Kurt even began wearing more layers, although they had come to the hottest part of summer. His shirts were tightly tucked, and if there weren’t two of them, it was an unusual day. Blaine had touched the back of Kurt’s bare back maybe twice and that was as far as they had gotten. Even though Blaine wore less clothing, Kurt treated his t-shirts like impenetrable barriers.

Blaine felt weird leading the way in this department. Everything he knew about setting someone at ease and getting them to action he learned hooking, and it felt wrong to use those skills on Kurt. They were too calculated and fake, but Blaine didn’t know any other way to be regarding sex. He wasn’t even sure if his lead would be appreciated. Was Kurt rethinking the relationship or just afraid of the newness? Blaine didn’t know.

Blaine shifted, his hand ghosting against Kurt’s shoulder blades, and Kurt broke their kiss. Blaine looked into Kurt’s beautiful eyes and remembered Burt’s words about being strong for Kurt. Gathering his courage, he held on when Kurt would have rolled away. Kurt froze. Blaine said, “Hey, hey, I just want to talk.”

Relaxing slightly, with a wry eyebrow raised, Kurt responded, “I think I can talk from over there just as well.”

“But that is what I want to talk about.” Kurt froze again and then rolled away more forcefully. Blaine let him go, it wasn’t worth adding to the fight they were obviously going to have.

“Let’s not.”

Rolling so that he was facing Kurt who was lying on his back, Blaine said, “I think we should.”

“I don’t agree.”

Blaine played with the end of Kurt’s sweater vest as he gathered his thoughts. “I don’t mind waiting, as I said before. This isn’t about that. This is about you being afraid to touch me now that it means something.”

“I’m not afraid; I’m just not ready. As I said before.” The last was said with no fair amount of bite.

In a calm voice, hoping not to escalate the discussion, Blaine replied, “You’re wearing a sweater vest in July, Kurt. As well as a shirt, an undershirt, and a scarf. You’re afraid of something.”

“Fashion is important to me.”

“Well, fashion was less constricting three weeks ago and the only thing that changed was us. So forgive me if I think the two things are connected.” Kurt still wouldn’t look at him and remained silent this time. Blaine sighed and wrapped his hand around Kurt’s bicep. “I can wait, that’s not a problem. I’m not in any hurry to get to sex either. I don’t have the best associations with it. But you’re hiding, and I don’t know why. It scares me.”

In a small voice that Blaine was surprised to hear out of his confident Kurt, Kurt said, “It’s so hard. I’m not used to people touching me. Everyone in high school avoided touching me like they would contract the gay. In New York, it’s mostly seedy guys trying to cop a feel. It was fine before because we weren’t dating, but now. Well, there are all these expectations and I’m not like you. I don’t have the biceps or the abs. I’m just me.”

“Hey. Just you is perfect.” Blaine didn’t know how to convince him of the truth of the statement. He thought Kurt was gorgeous, and he was angry that anyone had treated him like a leper before.

Kurt’s voice turned watery, although no tears fell. “I know you say that, but it is so far from the truth.”

Letting go of Kurt’s bicep, Blaine wrapped his arm around Kurt’s waist. He leaned his chin on Kurt’s shoulder and said, “It isn’t, but how about we say you are perfect for me? I’m not looking for a carbon copy of myself. I want a beautiful, ethereal man who takes my breath away with his kindness and goodness.”

“You make it sound so easy.”

“Hey, I know it isn’t. And this isn’t a ploy to get you in bed; I just want you to relax and feel safe with me.”

With a big sigh and a hand snaking into Blaine’s, Kurt replied, “Maybe I can ditch the sweater vest. It is a bit hot.”

“And maybe the scarf?” Blaine couldn’t help grinning at Kurt. A scarf in July was never not funny. Kurt smiled back and Blaine felt like he had won the lottery.

* * *

Things weren’t miraculously fixed after their talk, but they were easier. Kurt loosened up and was less guarded, which was all that Blaine wanted. Blaine also concentrated on being in the moment with Kurt and ignoring any thoughts about hooking and intimacy. He even let Kurt wash out the gel in his hair and style it looser some days. He felt like he didn’t need as much armor as he had back in the springtime.

It was a freeing feeling.

This was one of those days. Blaine never said it out loud, but he suspected Kurt knew that Blaine loved Kurt’s fingers massaging his scalp and washing his hair. It was a soothing feeling and Blaine loved the domesticity of it. It was totally worth having his hair loose. Kurt finally said, “Done. Now let’s comb it out and let it dry. Then I’ll style it.”

“I don’t know why you’re going to the trouble. You know I’m just going to the gym.”

“About that.”

Turning towards Kurt, Blaine raised his eyebrows in question.

“I was wondering if I could go with you.” 

Happy at Kurt’s desire to know more about his hobbies, Blaine said, “I don’t see why not. Roger has been eager to meet you anyway.”

“He has?” Kurt sounded shocked.

“Well, yeah. He thinks you’re good for me.”

Kurt hummed in response, but Blaine could see he was pleased.

Once Blaine’s hair met with Kurt’s approval, they packed some gym clothes and headed out. They reached the gym in no time since Kurt insisted on driving there. Once they had parked on a side street, Kurt turned off the ignition and said, “Well, it’s not Lima Heights, but this isn’t the best neighborhood.”

Hearing the worry in Kurt’s voice, Blaine replied, “Your truck will be fine. Everyone knows the gym is right here and that the guys who work out here can take care of themselves.”

“That’s why you joined, huh?”

“Kind of. I was tired of feeling worthless and scared.”

Looking contrite, Kurt took his hand. “I’m sorry. I thought Ohio would be better for you.”

“Hey. It has been.” Squeezing Kurt’s hand, Blaine let go and got out of the truck. Kurt got out of the other side and walked around and Blaine took his hand again. Kurt looked at their joined hands and didn’t grip Blaine’s hand back. Blaine asked, “What’s up?”

“Are you sure you want to go in holding my hand?”

“Everyone knows. Well, everyone who matters. Unless it makes you uncomfortable?”

“No, I’m always proud to be with you.”

Blushing lightly, a bit nonplussed, Blaine said, “Well then.” Now Kurt squeezed his hand back and even gave Blaine a small kiss on his cheek.

Blaine felt like he was walking on air.

Once inside, Blaine didn’t see Roger right away, just Max. He tugged Kurt over and introduced them. With gruff sincerity, Max said, “It’s nice to meet you.”

Kurt responded, “Likewise. Blaine has spoken highly of you.”

“Well, he’s been a real pleasure to have here these last couple of months.”

Blaine said, “Mind if I show Kurt a couple things after we work out?”

Clapping Blaine on the back and making him stumble forward, Max replied, “That’s fine.”

Nodding, Blaine tugged Kurt towards the locker room. The gym was mostly empty. Sunday afternoons weren’t a popular time. Blaine didn’t usually work out then either, but he had missed his workout yesterday because he was working overtime for Burt.

They changed and Blaine showed Kurt how to bench press and work with the other free weights. Kurt had always been more of a cardio kind of guy. 

Kurt was obviously uncomfortable in the environment, but no one gave them any trouble. The other guys working out mostly just nodded at them and then went about their own workouts. Blaine managed to do an abbreviated version of his own workout routine, before Kurt got too restless. They then went over to the speedball and Blaine walked Kurt through the training Roger had given him back in March.

Kurt seemed to have more fun hitting the speedball. He even laughed when he lost his rhythm and Blaine smiled at him. Kurt had just messed up when Blaine felt a slap on his back and Roger was saying, “What have we got here?”

Kurt froze and his hands dropped away from the speedball as if it had bitten him. Blaine reached out and tugged Kurt closer to reassure him. “Roger, this is Kurt.” He gave Roger a warning look, but he shouldn’t have bothered. Roger was downright beaming at Kurt. Kurt seemed taken aback, but willing to go along with it when Roger grabbed his hand and pumped it up and down enthusiastically.

Roger said, “Now it is a real pleasure to meet you, Kurt. Blaine has talked about you a lot.”

Kurt replied, “Likewise.”

“Finally coming down to see your boy’s moves, eh?”

“Something like that. Although he seems more interested in walking me through my paces. I haven’t seen his moves yet.” Kurt smiled slyly at him and Blaine blushed back. So he liked seeing Kurt get all uncovered and sweaty. Sue him.

Roger said, “Well, we can certainly fix that. Angelo is looking for a sparring partner for a round or two. You up for it today?”

Blaine looked at Kurt questioningly, but Kurt just said, “Don’t let me stop you.”

Nodding, Blaine said, “Sure,” and Roger steered them towards the ring. Blaine hadn’t beaten Angelo yet, but their fights were getting more and more even. He was looking forward to the challenge. He hadn’t sparred in a while with all the time he was spending with Kurt.

Roger got him set up for the fight while Kurt talked to Max off to the side. Finally, after nods between Roger and Angelo’s trainer, Angelo and Blaine bumped gloves and went to their respective corners to wait for the bell. Roger clapped Blaine on both shoulders in encouragement right before the bell rang and Blaine was rushing to the center of the ring.

The fight was fierce to start, but as it dragged into the third period, Blaine could feel the balance slipping to Angelo as he got tired. Blaine rallied and fought harder, trying to also fight smarter as Roger was always telling him. And then he saw the perfect opening. Throwing a quick upper cut he hit Angelo as hard as he could and Angelo dropped like a stone.

It was so surprising that it worked; Blaine knelt down to ask, “Are you okay?” but was pushed to the side by Angelo’s trainer. 

Roger took Blaine’s arm and dragged him back to his corner. He said, “That’s the way to do it!”

Panting, Blaine looked over at Angelo who was now sitting in his corner. “Are you sure he’s all right? He hit the floor hard.”

“All in a day’s fight, kid.”

After checking on Angelo, Max strode to the center of the ring and announced, “With a surprising KO, the winner is Blaine!”

Roger hugged him and Angelo came over to offer his congratulations. Angelo said, “I thought I was going to have you on the ropes in another minute.”

“You would have. I was getting tired. It was a lucky hit.”

“Luck might have had something to do with it, but you’ve come a long way too.” Angelo grinned at him and Blaine grinned back, relieved Angelo was all right.

Roger helped him take off his gear and then he was jumping down to stand by Kurt. Kurt hugged him and said, “I can’t believe you do this! I was so scared for you but then you knocked that guy out!”

“It was a lucky hit.” Blaine was downplaying it, but he actually felt really proud. He could feel himself standing taller.

“I admit I watched most of the fight through my fingers, but I saw that punch clearly. You knew what you were doing.”

Shrugging in embarrassment, Blaine couldn’t help smiling goofily at Kurt. He said, “It’s the first time I won.”

Kurt smiled back and hugged him again.

* * *

Blaine was nervous. He paced in front of the community center and wished he smoked so that he had something to do with his hands. He was taking his GED exam today. It was electronic now so he would even get his score the second he finished his test. It was nerve-racking to think months of study would end today. So much was going right for him; he didn’t want to go back to being a failure. He felt like he had to pass the test the first time.

Taking a deep breath he entered the building and joined the rest of the test-takers. It was a long day. The test had five sections and took hours, but Blaine took his time and double-checked his answers before submitting them and before he knew it, he was finished and his passing score was displayed on the screen.

Clasping a hand over his mouth to keep in his surprised gasp, Blaine went through the exit procedures, got the printout of his results, and was then outside the building again. He bounced as he headed towards Kurt’s house, but didn’t yell the way he wanted to. He was so happy although a bit disbelieving at how his life was coming together. It might not be the way he had dreamed when he was fourteen, but that just made it all the more real and astounding.

Kurt had invited him over for lunch. He wasn’t comfortable going to Burt’s house, even after Burt’s apology, but Blaine didn’t see a way out of it. He was still Blaine’s boss, which just made it awkward. Still, using his new cell phone, Blaine called Kurt to let him know he was on his way and that he had passed. Kurt yelled enough for the both of them and Blaine held the phone away from his ear with a big grin. Ending the call, he said, “I’ll be there in half an hour.”

Kurt asked, “Are you sure you don’t want me to pick you up?”

“No. I could use the walk to gain some energy. The test was draining.”

“Okay. You know I’m proud of you, right?”

“Yeah, I do. Thanks for everything. Seriously, nothing would have been possible without you.” Blaine almost choked up at how true it was. Kurt scoffed at him, but Blaine could tell he was still too happy to protest too much. They said good-bye and Blaine continued on his way.

As he rounded the block for Kurt’s house, Blaine was finally calm. He was looking forward to seeing Kurt outside of work. He had stepped up his studying for the last week or so, so they had not had the chance to just hang out. He rang the doorbell and waited for Kurt to answer.

There was a loud crash inside and Blaine’s eyebrows raised involuntarily. Then Kurt was opening the door while yelling backwards over his shoulder, “Finn! I told you to be careful!”

Blaine was reminded that Kurt’s stepbrother was on leave from the army and was visiting. He sighed. He probably wouldn’t get too much time alone with Kurt then. Kurt turned towards him and pulled him into the tight hug. “I’m so proud of you!”

“Thanks.” The room behind Kurt was cast in shadows and Blaine figured Kurt had closed the curtains to restrict the sun heating up the house. Kurt took his hand and pulled him into the foyer, saying, “Lunch will be ready soon.”

Before Blaine could reply, the lights in the living room were turned on and multiple voices shouted, “Surprise!” stunning Blaine. He took a step back in surprise, but Kurt was there laughing and pulling him forward. Blaine could then distinguish faces and he saw Burt, Joe, Charity, Jim, Sara, Carlos, Roger, and even Max. 

Before he could say anything, which was good because he was still too shocked to find his voice, he was pulled into a hug by Charity. She was saying, “I’m so proud of you! I knew you could do it!” He was then passed from person to person for hugs and congratulations. He got back slaps from Burt and Joe, and even Finn who he had never met before. All in all it was pretty overwhelming.

Blaine eventually ended up back in front of Kurt as everyone else broke into conversational bunches and began frequenting the buffet in the dining room. As Kurt hugged him again, Blaine asked, “You arranged all this, didn’t you?”

“I did. I have unparalleled party planning skills. I planned my Dad’s and Carole’s wedding, you know. Were you surprised?”

“Surprised? Of course. I still can’t believe it! How did you get everyone here?”

“That was easy. Charity invited the hospital people for me and Dad invited Joe. The hard part was inviting Max and Roger. That is why I insisted on going with you to the gym. I also invited Angelo, but he couldn’t make it. He had to work.”

“Well, I’m impressed.” That was an understatement. Blaine was astounded that not only had Kurt gone to so much trouble for him-- there were streamers around the house and a big congratulations sign as well as the food and guests, but also that Kurt cared enough to go to all that trouble. It warmed Blaine’s heart. He had never had a party in his honor before.

He had to ask, though. “What if I had failed?” 

Kurt scoffed. “As if. I knew you would pass. I had faith in you. You are one of the smartest people I know.”

Blushing, Blaine looked away and down to avoid Kurt’s too perceptive stare. He was just so overwhelmed by everything. It felt like a dream. Kurt seemed to realize how he was feeling because he tugged on Blaine’s hand and said, “Come help me get drinks for everyone.”

They went into the kitchen where it was quiet and Blaine could take a minute to get himself together. Kurt took some sodas out of the fridge and asked, “Okay now?”

“Yeah. I’m good. Great, even.”

Kurt smiled wide at him and they rejoined the party.

Blaine laughed and joked with his friends and family, but in the back of his mind he marveled at how his life had turned. All these people were here to celebrate his accomplishments, which was amazing. Just eight months ago he only had Wes and David and a bleak future. Now here he was in a house full of people who cared for him. He did wish Wes and David were here too and he sent up a silent toast to them and a wish that their paths would cross again one day.

Kurt and Finn broke out a karaoke machine and the party got raucous as the evening waned as everyone sang and laughed. Even Blaine sang some Katy Perry, which stunned even Kurt, seemingly. 

Afterward, Kurt rushed up to him and hugged him exuberantly. “I forgot you said you could sing! That was so good!”

Blushing again, Blaine shrugged, but was secretly pleased. He liked impressing Kurt. Sometimes he felt like everyone else could go hang as long as Kurt was proud of him.

Finally, the party broke up and everyone started heading home. As he was leaving, Roger clapped Blaine on the shoulder and said, “I talked to your boss some. He’s a stand-up guy. Admitted his mistakes and everything. I can see why you stood up for him.”

Blaine just nodded and exchanged looks with Roger before the next person was shouting for his attention before they left. Finally, Blaine and Charity were left with Kurt’s family. Charity said, “Let us help you clean up.”

Kurt replied, “No way. You two go home and relax. Finn will help me clean up.”

Finn said, “Dude!” and Burt and Carole laughed while Kurt scowled at him. Blaine smiled at the happy picture they made. Kurt gave him a warm hug and a small kiss goodbye and Blaine felt included for maybe the first time ever.

Charity responded, “If you’re sure.”

Kurt gave her a hug too and said, “Of course. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

Blaine waved goodbye and shook Burt’s and Finn’s hands, while Carole insisted on a hug. With a smile and a bursting warmth in his chest, Blaine said good night and followed Charity to the car. As they drove off, Charity asked, “Did you have a good time?”

“I did. I can’t believe Kurt went to all that trouble.”

“I can. He cares so much for you.”

Blaine nodded, hoping the darkness hid his blush. “Thanks for coming and bringing everyone.”

“Of course! I’m so proud of you. I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.”

“Thanks.”

They fell into silence then and Blaine leaned back, replete. For a change from the past couple of months, he felt like he deserved the amazing things in his life instead of like he was a pretender. Knowing he would see Kurt tomorrow, he smiled and couldn’t wait. The future suddenly seemed possible and bright.

* * *

**Epilogue:**

Kurt came into the vestibule as Blaine was toying with his bow tie. Kurt said, “Don’t touch that. You’ll ruin it.” He then playfully knocked Blaine’s hands away and straightened the bow tie. Meeting Blaine’s gaze, Kurt tilted his head to the side and pursed his lips. “You look nervous.”

“Of course I’m nervous. It’s only the most important day of Charity’s life.” 

Blaine reached for his bow tie again, but Kurt caught Blaine’s hands in his and held onto them. He said, “You’ll do fine. You’ll sing and sound amazing, and then you’ll stand up with Jim.”

“You make it sound so simple.”

Grinning at Blaine, Kurt said, “It is simple, but you’re adorable when you’re nervous.”

Sara stuck her head through the doorway to the church and said, “Blaine? You’re on.”

Taking a deep breath, Blaine kissed Kurt on the mouth in thanks, and then walked into the church. Charity and Jim had asked him to sing Adele’s “One and Only” for their wedding. He was going to sing it as the guests settled in the pews and right before Charity walked down the aisle. Blaine walked to the side where the microphone was set up and said, “Welcome everyone. Here is a song Charity and Jim requested and that I’m happy to sing for them.”

Singing the song, trying not to choke up, Blaine was deeply moved by all the happy faces around him, but he still sang the song directly to Kurt who had settled on the bride’s side of the aisle. Kurt mouthed the words with him and Blaine could see tears shimmering in Kurt’s eyes. He was such a softie. Not that Blaine was any more composed, but still.

He ended the song to soft applause and bowed slightly before walking to stand up with Jim at the front. Jim didn’t have any brothers or close family so he had asked Blaine to be his best man. Blaine was floored and tried to demur, but Jim and Charity had both insisted. Now, Jim hugged him and whispered, “Thanks,” in his ear. Too choked up now to say anything, Blaine just nodded. He patted his pocket to make sure the rings were still there.

To light piano music, Sara walked down the aisle as maid of honor, and then the Bridal March started and Charity entered on Cooper’s arm. Charity and Blaine were thrilled when the “Free Credit Rating Today dot com slash savings!” commercials started and they saw Cooper in them. Charity contacted Cooper’s management through the ad agency and the siblings were reunited. Blaine didn’t share all of his past with Cooper, and Cooper didn’t ask too many questions, he very much lived in the present. None of them were in contact with their parents.

Charity looked radiant and Blaine watched Jim smile widely as she walked down the aisle towards him. The ceremony seemed to pass in a blur, Blaine handing over the rings at the appropriate time. In no time at all, Charity and Jim were kissing and Blaine was clapping with the rest of the guests, smiling widely.

Then it was on to the reception, where Blaine did his duties as best man, giving a speech and toasting the couple, until he could finally collapse in Kurt’s arms in relief. Kurt held him and stroked his back. “You did beautifully.”

“You really think so?” Blaine rested his head on Kurt’s shoulder.

“Of course. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house.”

“Including mine. I can’t believe I cried during my speech.” He had actually cried twice. First was when he talked about how Charity was his savior during one of the lowest points in his life and then when he talked about Jim and how much support he had given Blaine when Blaine went for his paramedic training and then as his mentor when he was hired on a probationary basis. For Jim to have that much faith in him even after he figured out Blaine’s past was mind-blowing to Blaine. Particularly since he loved his new job as a paramedic and he wouldn’t have that without Jim’s encouragement.

“It was sweet. It showed you care.” Kurt steadied Blaine and made him stand up straight. “Now let’s get something to drink and then hit the dance floor.”

Blaine straightened, but didn’t let Kurt pull away. He said, “I love you, you know.”

Kurt’s face softened and he gave Blaine a tiny, delighted smile. “I do know. I love you too.” Blaine was continuously amazed that Kurt seemed unsure of his love and devotion. Kurt was his everything and he didn’t know how Kurt could doubt that. He vowed to remind Kurt every day of how much he meant to him, even though they still lived hundreds of miles apart. Blaine was finishing his probationary period and getting some experience under his belt before applying for paramedic jobs in New York City. It made the time they could spend together all the more precious.

They kissed and then finally pulled completely apart. Blaine took his hand and swung their arms. “So dancing?”

“Drinks first. I’m parched.”

Kurt and Blaine danced, and then Blaine danced with Charity. She still looked beyond happy and clung to Blaine tightly. She said, “Thank you for standing up with Jim. It meant a lot to both of us.”

“You know I would do anything for you, both of you.”

Charity stopped the dance to hug Blaine tight. “I do know. Oh, Blaine, it is so good to have you in my life again. There was a huge hole before and I didn’t even understand what it was until you filled it again.”

“The thanks are all mine.” Blaine hugged Charity back.

He then danced with a laughing Jim who twirled him around the dance floor from one edge to the other to wild applause. Jim also hugged him tight at the end. Even though he didn’t gush the way Charity did, Blaine could tell he felt the same. It produced a tight feeling in Blaine’s chest and he could almost see a string of happy events including his and Kurt’s wedding on the horizon and years and years of happy memories ahead.

Finally he was back in Kurt’s arms. He didn’t say anything, but he held him tight and closed his eyes as they danced.


End file.
